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ThePenguin
Peter Budvietas
Online
New Zealand, Auckland

My Bookshop
Words: 467
Access: Public
Comments: 13

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Marguerite and Armand (updated)

'It's so sad,' she said, dabbing her eyes with the paper napkin as he placed the cappuccino before her.

'What is?' he asked, knowing it was a mistake as soon as the words came out of his mouth. He breathed a sigh of relief, realising she had not heard him.

'Can you imagine what it would be like, to find out you are dying? I mean, to be so alive, and yet be told you have only a few days to live.'

'Yes, dear.' He felt the small box in his pocket, waiting for the right moment.

'You really could imagine? See yourself with only a few days to live?'

'No, dear. But I can empathise. Put myself in that position for a short while, maybe.' like now, with that burning question almost on his lips.

'Oh, it's so sad. Everything to live for, and life being taken away from you.' Another dabbing. 'And so romantic in a way, too. I wish you could be like that, sometimes.'

'Dying?'

'Of course not! Why can't you write such beautiful poetry? Or at least recite it to me, when I'm feeling really down. Just like Robert did to Greta.'

'Well'¦'

'Of course, you are romantic in your own way. But'¦'

'But you'd rather I was more like he was?'

'Sometimes. But then, of course, I'd have to have this tragedy about to happen. Consumption or some such terrible disease.'

'Medicine's very much'¦'

'Then you'd have to take me away to a sanatorium, somewhere in the Swiss Alps, nestled in a romantic canton.'

'Yes, dear. I'd just whisk you off in my jet plane, and...'

'And then we'd spend my last hours, gazing out at the magnificent mountains, and I'd pass away in your strong arms.'

He shook his head. Wouldn't she just let him ask?

'And then, you'd be lonely for the rest of your life, searching always for a love like me and never finding one. And I'd be looking down on you, guiding you towards your second love.'

'Yes, dear.' He glanced out the window at a hobo wheedling for change, wishing he were out there instead.

'Why can't you be romantic like Robert?' she sighed. 'Why can't you be so in love with me that you'd never need another woman? Why can't you die with me? You who are so young--where can you have learned all you know about women like me?'

He gave a long resigned sigh.

'You men! So totally unfeeling!'

'Marguerite! It was only a movie! Robert Taylor's been dead for nearly forty years!' said Armand in exasperation. Obviously, tonight wasn't the right time to produce that little box and ask THE question...


The End...

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My Bookshop

Comments  
nadinesellers Comment by: nadinesellers - 2007-11-07 11:40
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effective dialog, skinny on the detail, eyelashes, elbows, a sprinkling of body language throughout would have placed them more fleshily on the mind and emotion.
it could find its place in the classic gender gap literature.
digs Comment by: digs - 2007-03-18 08:45
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I enjoyed this, Peter. Nice piece of flash. One thing occurred as I was reading: you could consider having his side of things as thoughts only without speech; that way you might well get more out of the contrast between the two of them.
Digby
Rosalie67 Comment by: Rosalie67 - 2007-02-26 17:24
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Beautiful. His torment was real and I enjoyed the anguish in his thoughts. Poor guy. Sometimes women just don't "read" a man's body language.
womangirl Comment by: womangirl - 2007-02-24 10:44
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I am new here and English is my second language, so I am not going to be able to help too much with editing.

But I can feel this piece and recognize this woman and her losing herself "out of their reality", living in the sad romance of that movie.
It shows how men and women can life beside each other without truly connecting. Sad, but so true.

I like this, a lot of story in a short piece.
Teri Comment by: Teri - 2007-02-19 17:10
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β??Medicineβ??s very muchβ?¦β?

I'd replace the ellipses with a dash to make it clear she keeps interrupting him in her obsession with her daydream. Other places, too. And some of the other punctuation needs a little work.

Minor things. Cute story. Yup, the end made me smile. Thanks for sharing it.

Teri xo
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