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Glade
A leaf, as if a pointed ear
Toward the centre
Ever listening
A tendril, as if reaching
For the centre
Ever creeping
A dewdrop, as if drawn
Into the centre
Ever trickling
A light, as if peering
At the centre
Ever glowing
A stump, as if placed
Within the centre
Ever waiting
A note, as if mythical
Permeates the centre
Ever ringing
A figure, as if enchanted
Adorns the centre
Ever singing
That figure...
Mother? Father?
Brother? Lover?
Given life and given soul
From the heart and from the light
In the centre of
The Glade
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| The simple repetition's like trees ticking by, pared perfectly.... But howl's right. Turn that enchanted figure from some golden glow to something real and palpable, and you'll have me. |
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Comment by: LucyB - 2006-01-24 07:51
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| I liked the airiness of this piece, and, like denisedee, I felt it was a little like a meditation, sort of like the Celtic benediction. I also agree with Charmain in that I think you could add to his a little - but equally, it stands alone, like a small oasis of green in the forest! |
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I like the structure, gave me space to freeflow. I found this meditative, and ever expanding. Simply lovely. Could hear it in my head. Could see it. Could feel it in my heart
Thank you! |
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some very arresting images, kept tight within the meter. But it doesn't seem to go anywhere, although as an exercise in romanticism it is a charming vignette. It uses classic romantic techniques; whim, anthropomorphism etc. It just feels as if it wants to take that extra step into something more profound but it never quiet gets there.
Gary |
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A leaf, as if a pointed ear
Interesting imagery in this line and in others. Though I found it tedious having the same structure throughout the poem. But that's just me! |
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