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Fesman
Erik Fesler
United States, Arizona, Tucson

Words: 160
Access: Public
Comments: 5

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A Day Half Gone

A DAY HALF GONE


Not looking where I'm going
I gaze intently within
I'm wracked with guilt and shame
Condemned'¦ for I have sinned
Shattering the silence of the wild
I break through the arms of wood
Branches gently push against me
Trying to stop me if they could
Screaming out for help'¦
Answered by the silence of the trees
And then I hear a cry
Carried softly on the breeze
Listen to the sparrow
Listen to its sweet song
Its only sorrow felt
Is that the day is now half gone
Taking my pains and sorrows
I give them to the Lord
I turn my thoughts upwards
To the One whom I adore
Silently rising from my knees
I decide to turn back toward town
Softly blending with the shadows
The sun begins its journey down
Gliding above the snow
I whistle a joyous song
The only sorrow felt
Is that the day is now half gone.

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Comments  
ripleym Comment by: ripleym - 2007-02-21 12:10
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This is really good, and shows how something seemingly so small, like the sparrow, can put things into perspective.
Anne Comment by: Anne - 2007-02-17 22:20
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great poem . good work
soldierinchrist Comment by: soldierinchrist - 2007-02-16 12:57
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this poem is awesome
tiger Comment by: tiger - 2007-02-16 12:23
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I have felt this way many times, "nice"
PANDORA Comment by: PANDORA - 2007-02-16 12:11
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This was really beautiful. It is the glass half empty-glass half full sort of piece.

It flowed well except for these two lines:

"Its only sorrow felt
Is that the day is now half gone"

I am trying to think of suggestion but nothing comes to mind right now. Maybe like the other lines that have the word sorrow in them you could put "the" instead of its.

Hope this helps,

Sheri**
1

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