Responsibility

Marg sat alone in the booth, nervously stirring her coffee, trying to ignore the Law & Order episode playing on the TV hanging from the diner ceiling by the bar. Halfway through her fourth cup she began to think that she might have shown up too early.

That was three cups ago.

She was about to get up and walk down the nearly empty diner and pee when he walked in, carrying a small gym bag. He looked good, though he had lost some weight. He seemed shorter too, but she thought is was probably the oversized jacket he was wearing.

He smiled at her and she couldn't help smiling back. The reflex, though not used for five years was still just as strong as when he left.

Marg could hear her mother when Marg had told her that she got his letter. 'So, after he up and left for five years, he writes and expects you to jump at the chance to talk to him? Sounds suspicious to me.'�

They sat in Marg's mother's kitchen while Carol played with her grandpa in the other room, their talking occasionally interrupted by Carol's high pitched squealing. 'Mother, the letter said he just wanted to talk. I have no reason not to trust that's all he wants.'�

Her mother sighed. She knew as well as Marg that walking out on Marg and the baby was the only bad thing he had ever done to them, which was why it was such a surprise. He had always made an enormous deal about how people don't even seem to know what responsibility was anymore. At one point he was even furious that Marg kept pushing back their wedding date.

'I know honey, I just can't shake the stereotype. I can't clear the idea that he fell out with some floozy and now he's running back to a sure thing.'�

'Hell, thanks mom.'�

'Oh stop it.'� The washing machine buzzed down the hall and she got up to add the fabric softener. After she restarted the washer, she sat back down at the table. 'I just don't want to see you get hurt again like when he left. Lord, honey, I didn't think you were ever going to brush your hair or shave your legs again.'�

Marg shook her head and tried unsuccessfully to hide a tiny embarrassed smile. She was an absolute mess when Greg left. If it wasn't for then one-year-ole Carol to take care of, she honestly doesn't know if she would ever have recovered. She immersed herself into taking care of Carol and, with the help of her parents, managed to get along just fine.

Other than still missing him a little, though she wouldn't admit it to herself, there was an even stronger urge to talk to him and ask his reasons.

Curiosity.

One day in late October, Greg took Carol to Marg's parents' house while she was at work. He asked Marg's father to watch Carol for a little while so he could get some errands done. He said sure, and Greg left.

That was the last time anyone saw him. When Marg got home from work later that afternoon, she saw the note he had left on their kitchen table. The note read,

Carol is at your parents' house. Had to go. Sorry. I'll be in touch.

At first Marg thought it was a joke. When that night arrived and Greg still wasn't home, she could only hope it was a joke. One month later she got a letter. In it was a cashier's check made out to Marg from the First National Bank in Wilmington, Delaware for 600 dollars. Included in the envelope was a very professional letter telling her that he would keep sending money, and asking her to let him know if she moved or changed her name so he could keep sending the checks. It also requested that they could keep lawyers out of the whole situation, and because had never gotten married, that was easy. Finally, it contained a P.O. box number in Wilmington, Delaware to mail her reply and that was it.

She replied, but hesitated for about seven days before sending the letter. She had seemed to de-evolve back into a teenage girl. She was worried that she would come off too desperate if she responded too soon. The checks continued just like that, every week while he was gone.

Last week, however, there was no check, just a handwritten letter from Greg. He was asking her to meet with him. He didn't say why, but she couldn't pass up the chance to see him again. She told herself that she wouldn't allow him to see Carol, but she doubted that she would keep her from him, especially if he was planning on staying in town. Before he left he was never anything but a loving father, and it wasn't fair not to let Carol see her father.

'Hi.'�

The word startled Marg out of her train of thought. Greg had approached the booth and sat down. All Marg could do was breath as she felt five-year-old wounds open up all over again like they had never healed. After the waitress brought Greg coffee, he said, 'You look good.'�

She responded likewise and they began to catch up. Basically he asked her about her family and their old friends, and he told her about his job and apartment. He had been hired as a 5th grade teacher in a private school in Wilmington. Two coffee refills later, they had said all they could seem to say and again sat in awkward silence.
'Why?'�

The word came out of Marg's mouth so quickly and sharply that it surprised her more than she figured it surprised him. 'I had to go.'�

She shook her head, 'Bullshit.'� She leaned over the table going on the offensive. 'Just give me a goddamn honest answer.'� She felt bad for her rising anger at first, but only a little. It made it easier for her to get her answers. 'You owe me that, and you owe Carol a hell of a lot more than that. Was there someone else?'�

'I know I do and no there wasn't.'� He paused, exhaling a slow breath into his coffee cup.

'Well, I'm waiting.'�

'I just had to. Trust me when I say that running away was the most responsible thing for me to do, for you, but mostly for Carol.'�

'Are you stoned?'� Marg felt her ears get hot. 'Do you realize I went through? Carol is growing up without a father and you talk about being responsible?'�

'I send you money.'�

'Fuck the money!'� She erupted. 'I can work. I don't need money and neither does Carol!'� She noticed that the few patrons who were in the diner had looked up from their meals and forced herself to calm down. A few seconds later, with a controlled voice she continued. 'Carol needs a father and I could have used some help. Every midnight fever or swallowed penny. I was alone. Do you have any idea how scary it was? Even if you stopped loving me, you didn't have to just abandon us like that.'�

'I never stopped'�'� His words caught in his throat.

Greg nodded. 'Listen, I truly am sorry for what I did, I have my reasons and you have to trust me.'� He put a small gym bag he was carrying on the table. 'Here. I've been saving for the past three years. It's about fifteen thousand dollars. I'd like it to go towards Carol's college fund, but you can do whatever you want with it.'�

For a moment, Marg was speechless, but not out of surprise, out of anger. 'You bastard! You bring me a bag full of money and expect to buy me back? I just told you I don't care about mon...'�

'Listen,'� he cut her off, 'I don't have much time and I would like to see Carol before I go, maybe take her out to dinner. I'm staying at the Super 8 on Harrison. Call me and tell me whatever you decide, preferably by tomorrow or Thursday?'�

Marg stared at Greg with a confused look. 'Are you in some kind of trouble Greg?'�

He chuckled. 'Nothing you need to worry about. Besides it would take a lot of coffee to explain. See ya later.'�

He got up and hurriedly walked out the door. Marg just sat there and stared at the bag of money, listening to the TV in the corner as the ten o'clock news came on. She was just as clueless as before their meeting, and even more confused. Just as she was about to take the money home and think about what she was going to do, the TV caught her attention. It was the name of the city that sparked her interest, Wilmington, Delaware.

'Wilmington police are searching for a suspected child molester. 26-year-old Greg Hamilton who was released on bail pending trial turned up missing a week after being released. Hamilton was accused of molesting a 10 year-old-girl who was a student of his at the private school where he taught. The family of the girl asked that her name not be released.

'President Bush was scheduled to appear...'�

Marg had to sit back down as she heard Greg's words resounding through her mind. 'Trust me when I say that running away was the most responsible thing for me to do, for you, but mostly for Carol.'�

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