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Sapphire Eyes(Parts one and two)
I thought I was enough
That I could have been real
Do you not see me?
Am I ghost to you still?
Only you could make an icy heart look so beautiful
And you're the angel with the lying lips
Some princesses have dark secrets
But none as dark as this
Is this your art
To build my hope
Then smash it with steel
That's how it seems
Maybe your wings are white
Maybe mine are black
I don't know
That's just how it seems
Because if not, why do I repulse you?
Do you still pity me?
Am I still a poor fool
Clinging eternally?
Your eyes burn
And when they do, so does my heart
Hate me, and let me die
Kill me, and let my soul fly
Please, angel
Please, goddess
Please, Sapphire Eyes
Let me go'¦
Part 2: Chestnut Eyes
Don't look at me
I've spent too long in your eyes
Dreaming, of a future here with you
But now you're colder than ice
And I can't bear
To look into your eyes
Trust me, I wanted this as much as you
To be just an' me
But can't you see
Our fates are killing me
Our paths aren't crossing
Our future is tossed by the wind
It kills me when I see you bleed
Needlessly, with wounds you call forsaken
You're so wrapped up in your pain
That you can't even see me
What you see is a lie
I'd never hurt you
Your tears aren't unfounded
Your fears aren't without cause
But I wont leave you when trouble comes knocking
I've stood by you before
I'll do it again
Don't you know I can't live without you?
Don't give up, my champion
Don't surrender to sorrow
Keep your chin up, 'cause you're my everything
Don't give in, my angel
Don't let go
'Cause I won't let go of you
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| Hey bro! Ive read this poem several times now. I didnt comment on it the first time being somewhat in a hurry and not having time to really read it. I can always relate to the capture of a womans eyes, Theres somthing about a woman who can look right through me that catches my heart. Good poem, while Im not wowed by the format, i dig the content |
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Comment by: ZWilson - 2007-03-04 15:21
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| note: Chestnut Eyes is the sequel/conclusion. |
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Only you could make an icy heart look so beautiful
(And youâ??re) the angel with the lying lips
Some princesses have dark secrets
But none as dark as this.
Beautiful writing. If I may, I'd like to suggest eliminating the (And you're) from these lines. I think it will help with flow, and make more impact. There is so much thought in this poem. Love and Hate pour from it. I do believe you are off to a great start. |
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| A great piece of writing, As noted before you have "to be continued", and I like this just as is. Do a second poem, leave this as it is perfect in my opinion. |
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Comment by: PANDORA - 2007-02-18 19:56
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Only you could make an icy heart look so beautiful--this was a great descriptive line.
This piece is so filled with sadness and hopelessness.
It is also asking for a release from all the pain...I sure know about that.
I see you put "continued" so I wait.** |
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