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Stab straight up
You'll hurt your wrist
Leap at shadows
And you'll hit a wall
Stub your toe
And blame God(s) for the offense
Fire a gun into the night
Eventually the bullet falls
Staring straight up will only
Hurt your neck
Shrieking at the sky
Will only make you hoarse
Level heads and levelled eyes
are what you need to chart your course.
Let the stars be
Leave the God's alone
They just want you to do it on your own
Because wings don't grow on men
And oceans don't part for them
Shrieking at the Sky
Will only make you hoarse
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This is amazing. Not many poets are actually good at poetic social commentary (it's like finding a good anti-war song) but this is amazing. This covers so much. I think the main thing I'm impressed with is how you wrote it this so that everyone can understand it. You make many great points, and it doesn't take an English Proffesor to explain it.
I keep trying to write a poetic response to something you've written; but it's really hard to try and expand on this. Keep up the good work, I've got no gripes on this one (how fitting.)
This is very well written and depicts an interesting idea-that looking to some supernatural power for help will do nothing and that people have take matters into their own hands. A certain sense of irony comes to my mind when reading this for those that believe some sort of supernatural power have a tendency to be in a situation in which they feel very little security (like being poor) and yet it is those people that need most of all to stop relying on the supernatural to solve their problems for them. All in all, I find this to be a very good poem.
Interesting. There's a lot of emotion under the words of this, and it does make you think. This relates pretty well to me, so I guess that's one of the reasons I like it so much.
