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xemoxangelx
Iphiginia Cullen
United Kingdom, Essex

Words: 102
Access: Public
Comments: 7

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heaven?

slowly drifting towards the light,
safe from the freezing night,
all pain is gone and at last i feel secure,
the light is so intense yet such a simple lure
angels call to me from within
at last i will be re-united with my kin,
i look back,only darkness,hell
i walk forward into heavenly smell
i know i deserve this bliss,
the earth i will barely miss
through all the difficulties of my life
through all the problems and strife
it doesn't matter now,
all that ive been through,
because at last i can be back next to you.

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Comments  
abnich Comment by: abnich - 2007-03-21 07:25
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Kind of simplistic and lacking in the depths of the words. I think you can do better. This just seems to be a kind of lame emo poem. I know you're more talented than this.
airyfairie Comment by: airyfairie - 2007-03-20 05:56
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Nice work.

I feel your loss and longing to reunite with your kin. You have handled the subject well. The feeling of happiness to leave this place is well conveyed and reveals the hope and happiness that can be felt at the end when people are reunited. There are many excellent lines in this poem and the meter and rhythm is excellent, very smooth. Thank you for sharing this touching piece. Inspired.
Comment by: - 2007-03-15 12:39
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"a simple lure" & "heavenly smell" are excellent companions, -almost like those words don't make sense without each other, man
teengonebad Comment by: teengonebad - 2007-03-15 12:11
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Just reading this poem made me feel much more at ease. All my troubles seemed to have melted from my mind and were replaced with a sigh and a smile. Great poem!! And thanks for commenting on mine!
Bruno Dias Comment by: Bruno Dias - 2007-03-14 08:26
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An inviting contrast to Dylan Thomas' Do Not Go Gentle poem in which he asks his father to fight against the passage to death. Here you've set up the current earthly existence as hell, and the passage as heavenly. All without making it sound suicidal.

Nice work.
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By xemoxangelx

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