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Sleep
Distant worlds
Ruled by thoughts and enigmas
Exhausted hours of split seconds
Ambiguous dimensions of fantasy
Mazes of mystery, confusion, and fear
Silent secretive intruder
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Comment by: nlinde - 2007-02-21 07:44
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I completely disagree with cindykelly and her mind-numb way to interpret a poem. This is what poetry is about, as Percy Shelley said that perhaps interpreting poetry is reserved for the elitist because of its way to peceive the world for what it is. This is a beautifully written 'slice of life' the "exhausted hours of split seconds" and its connotation to rapid eye movement were astounding. You were able to take something as simple as "sleep" and turn it into a great piece, keep on keepin on.
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To me the message is clear - it sums up the experience of sleep, with all its riddles, dreams and strangeness (where time is odd - an hour can seem like a split second). If you really think about it, sleep is a strange phenomenon.
Tasty alliteration on 'Mazes of mystery'. I enjoyed reading this as you clearly conveyed the feeling of sleep. Great writing. |
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I'm unsure what the message is here. In poetry, the goal should be to convey a feeling, communicate an idea. This is a little bit too hodge-podge.
The use of the word "enigma" seems a little much - kind of like you want people to react positively because you know how to use big words. Simplify. Figure out what you want to say and say it. This seems a little bit like saying too much got in the way of saying nothing. |
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