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L A Nantz
Stephen Nantz
United States, mi, Howell

Words: 223
Access: Public
Comments: 1

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All propped up

There in a corner of my mind is a lie
It sits there looking at me as thought I were god
Knowing that I can keep it alive or kill it
With that in hand were does it go?
Nowhere, it sits in the corner of my mind, staring at me
All propped up.

What hope does it have of surviving?
Can it rely on me to keep it fresh, to give it nourishment?
What if I forget about it , it wonders.
Does it really care? Or does the lie keep me'
All propped up.

Now in my mind is a thought staring at the lie as the lie stairs at me.
Who is god in my mind.
Where did this all start the beginning of this lie that I am now stuck in
How do I find the way out of my own mind as it crumbles
What is the lie that started the lie that keeps me,
All propped up.

In the corner of his mind is a man
It sits there, looking at me as though he were god
Knowing that he can keep him alive or kill him
With that in mind were does he go
Nowhere, so he just sits there in the corner of the mind of the lie
Staring in lose and confusion.
All propped up.

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Comments  
mitra Comment by: mitra - 2007-03-24 03:16
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I like the subject matter here. Examining the concept of mind, self, God, conscience etc. The last part was a total turnaround; necessary one. Nice touch.

Some minor things to consider?

??It sits there looking at me as thought I were god? ?? though
??as the lie stairs at me.? ?? stares
??Who is god in my mind.? ?? this sounded to me more like a question.. is it?
??Were did this all start the beginning of this lie that I am now stuck in? ?? totally lost me on this one. Perhaps breaking down the sentence. First word should be ??Where? maybe?

??In the corner of his mind is a man
It sits there looking at me as though he were god? ?? He sits there looking?

??No were, so he just sits there? ?? Nowhere

Generally it does need tweaking but I feel you have a strong concept so work on it.
Thanks for sharing. ;)
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By L A Nantz

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