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freekythang
jenny mowlam
United Kingdom, dorset

Words: 646
Access: Public
Comments: 13

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a victorian pickpocket *part 2+3

Bella awoke with an icy chill that slid down her neck and back.Not remembering where she was she arose with the panick of a frightened child.Bella saw the table that she had been sleeping on and saw the empty bottles.
"ooohhh" drunken memories flowed into her skull as if from no where.Her mouth tasted of bitter whisky and stale tobbacco.
"oooohhhh" a longer, louder groan grazed her throat.Bella's neck and back were sore from where she had fell asleep slumped over the table, the room was spinning.As much as she tried to blink and rub away the gunk that had formed in the corners of her eyes she still could'nt see very well, or regain balance.She sat back down and tried to calm the burning sickness that was fast rising up her throat.
Phill and Giles Bella could hear snoring, from near the cuboards.Tom was snoring the loudest his mouth was wide open showing a set of yellowed gnashers.He had bright orange hair which was naturaly spiky and puffed up like an afro when wet.His ever pale skin un-nerved Bella after all he spent so much time out in the hot sun, but Tom's lilly white complexion did complement his wide, emerald green eyes.
Phills image, on the other hand was such a contrast compared to Toms.He was tall with a mop of dark blonde hair that got into his eyes, Bella had noticed that he'd taken to tyeing it up with a blue ribbon. His bronzed skin was befouled with various cuts and scars, the latest being a bloody nose that he had recieved from Bella the night before.She both looked up to and despised Phill, one minute she could look into those big blue eyes and lose herself in thaught or conversation, the next , he would turn on her.She had watched his face many times contort with something beyond anger.His lips would curl and he would snarl something at her, Bella used to wonder if it was because he would have had her be his sweetheart?
But no, they'd known each other for years and he would have made his move by now! It's not like he did'nt have the confidence... or balls required?
Bella opened her eyes and raised her head, she let out a sigh. She was miserable.
"Am i that unreachable ?" She closed her eyes and rested her head against the wall.
"Untouchable." She wasnt sure if this was an addition or correction.Bella opened her eyes again noticing that the other, Giles was a little too quite.
Giles lay awake, silently staring at the wall listening to the sounds of the room.He patiently waited to see if Bella would stay, or leave now the ice of the night had melted.
She ran, the sound of slapping footsteps raced down the wet stone floor.Her feet skidded along and she lost balance.CRACK.black.
"Bella?" a worried voice stirred her from a deep slumber,
"Bella!" The voice seemed to be urgent, as if panick coursed through its vocals.
"Bella!" she felt two strong hands wrap round her shaulders
"Wake up !". She opened her eyes, they didnt seem to work.
"What ?Whats going on... Giles?"She raised a shakey hand to a patch of her head that particularly throbbed. Wet hair stuck matted to her head, she could feel a large patch of skin hanging, hanging limp, hanging lifeless.Bella felt a hot rising tide, drowning in a sea of nausea, the hot bile spurted out of her mouth causing her to wretch more. She could feel the slither of skin brush against the sensitive red scalp ang Giles push her forward.
"Let it come out, we need to get you Mrs.Coxs" Giles voice seemed to drift away as she started to spirall down into the shadows.

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Comments  
sweetalker Comment by: sweetalker - 2006-06-18 20:58
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Please fix the format! Stories are so much more readable! I beg you!
mleder2005 Comment by: mleder2005 - 2006-06-05 17:20
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Very descriptive, you describe the weary drunkeness well :)... another great part/chapter or w/e
mleder2005 Comment by: mleder2005 - 2006-06-05 17:19
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Very descriptive, you describe the weary drunkeness well :)... another great part/chapter or w/e
Scribe Comment by: Scribe - 2006-04-20 15:20
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You definitely excel in your descriptive narratives. If you painted the way you wrote youâ??d be Caravaggio, no shit. Keep telling this tale. Bring your characters out more. Think of them as a running start before your descriptions come into play. (I suspect they are what you live for) Scary stuff. Creepy stuff. Gothic. Youâ??ll steal a lot of sleep from people with writing like this. Press onâ?¦
Elinki Comment by: Elinki - 2006-04-16 15:46
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this was pretty good. needs a bit more character development. this part was much easyer to read then the first part. you should use a word prossessor to write your story in first and spell check and grammer check b4 posting too. you've got a pretty good story development starting here.
keep writing.
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