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Silence
Silence shrieks
stabbing and embedding itself into my body
there is no one here, no one who cares
the phone is ringing
and I'm not picking up
why should I?
You've given me no reason to
all you want to know is how bad I'm doing
So stop calling, I'd rather be alone
then be with fakes
who claim that they know
My silence is overwhelming
much like the roaches that crawl in the night
I'm run down, watching too much TV
Hopelessly, hoping that someone will find me.
I'm lonely and feel useless
So I finally pick up the phone.
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| You really captured the desparation one feels being lonely and wanting attention, while at the same time not trusting that anyone can provide good company. It's a difficult internal battle to face. |
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| It gives a good description of what someone may experience in the silence of their solitude. Good one. |
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Comment by: - 2005-12-22 08:58
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'I'm lonely and feel useless'
Excellent poem which I'm sure many people can relate to. Well done. |
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Comment by: - 2005-12-18 20:25
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Thanks for your comments everyone, and all of your suggestions!
They are much appreciated. |
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Comment by: - 2005-12-18 17:04
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Hello, a nice job overall on the poem, a few places that could be reworded, like seanquiqley wrote in the comments, but other then that it was very good!
Don |
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"Blue Water Baptism"
"Blue Water Baptism" is my second collection of poems ranging in topic from views on death, God, friendships, and society. These poems were written in the course of ten years and show the "20-something" state of mind that transitions into a "30-something" mentality.
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