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Return home

Take me under,
Undertaker.
I'm so full of lingo,
and not so full, of enough booze
Come on, intoxicate me with your life
Your life lives within that one bottle
along with me
You're my only friend as you take me to heaven,
or to hell?
Satisfy my liver with that one tiny taste
That makes my life seem so much better than what I have made it.
Come on, live with me, marry me
Bury your spirit into mine
You know you can do it, with that one sip,
that is simply divine
You take away my hunger
for my problems of this life.
Steal away all my goodness.
For if I had no pride,
I would never know
what it is to be
a truly decent man.
I just want to die,
knowing I could struggle enough at your hands.
Or my hands, as they would like to say
that I am the one with the problem.
Yet they don't see all the solitude you bring
when I reach for that gleaming bottle
I may feel like nothing in the morning,
but at least I shall know.
That you will be waiting, my precious 'Jim beam,'
when I return home.

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Comments  
seancolledge Comment by: seancolledge - 2007-01-15 09:11
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very very well written, some of the lines in that are beautiful. More of a Jack Daniels man myself though
thewordzwithin Comment by: thewordzwithin - 2006-12-27 11:37
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Very nice poem! I love the almost suductive relationship you portray with the bottle. It's a great piece to turn someone away from falling in love with the bottle. Very nice!
Comment by: - 2005-12-22 10:43
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much more sensible that mine!!!!!!!!!

Some great plays on words and great first lines
rich1982 Comment by: rich1982 - 2005-12-21 07:31
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This poem contains some cliched ideas BUT they don't come across badly at all. The opening line is great, "Take me under,//Undertaker." Also I really really liked, "Come on, live with me, marry me//Bury your spirit into mine". One thing, the punctuation seems erratic - sometimes full-stops appear to have been forgotten?
Comment by: - 2005-12-17 21:10
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I liked it. Took me a little while to realize that you were talking to the "Precious Jim Beam" and not a person. I liked the way you put "or to hell?" on its own seperate line. That really adds to its effect. Good writing.
1
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"In The Valley: A Collection of Poems"

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In The Valley: A Collection of Poems

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