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On Being Romanced
It isn't rape if you don't scream 'no' hard enough,
Fast enough.
Resistance is like skin
Melting against a switched on iron.
I don't know if water feels the cold
When forced to turn to ice.
I hope not.
Stop.
The body is a shell.
What's real I can protect.
And anyway, I Couldn't Care Less.
I wish to remember only the initial pain
After that, the ceiling tiles.
Cracked.
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| I don't know if this just hit me because it draws on emotions related to my own life, or if it's something that's universal, but it got me. The capitalization in "Couldn't Care Less" is really effective. It makes the phrase strong, and also sound forced. I would suggest getting rid of capitals at the beginning of lines, if they are not also the beginnings of sentences. This would make the intentional unconventional capitalization in "Couldn't..." be more dramatic. I would put a period at the end of pain, or a comma if you want to join it to the next part with an "and." Just my thoughts of course. Take 'em or leave 'em. |
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| This is a great poem, living and learning and accepting the things you can not change, denial and rationalizing all in one sonnet :) |
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| N I C E ! |
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| This is a really fine poem. "When forced to turn to ice" creates such fine imagery. Very Nice. |
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| if i were to add an extra line then it wouldnt be a sonnet any more! |
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