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The Penny Revile
It's a dog shit thaw, my springtime in the city.
Months of unchecked feces forming eddies in the sun (warmer by the day but shivering now in spite of my leather jacket. despite the cigarette. stale beer staining my belly and one red-eye chasing the promise of a dream if not a few useful hours of sleep).
And it stinks.
Fucking stinks.
Reeking the old high kind of heaven that woke the last known son of God from the gentle majesties he'd known and loved just to make him one of us.
As if it was our fault.
Like we'd brought it on.
And I imagine a conflagration of angels. A smarmy set that escaped Satan's charge only to live in the one tawny recess of forever that omnipotence allows (not for lack of trying, of course, but there are kittens to put down) which is fine by them, just fine. Leaves them ample room to cull certain fates and defy in private, sitting Indian style and perfecting their whispers.
I imagine them plotting it all out. Skin and point. Time and arrows. Sure as shit that they'll find satisfaction in the one unerring curse that slipped cracked lips.
Then I step in.
But won't give a damn until morning.
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"Sure as shit that they'll find satisfaction in the one unerring curse that slipped cracked lips."
Your careless and angry vocabulary in this part cracked me up laughing really bad.
"But won't give a damn until morning."
Truly my favorite line.
Great piece of work. You expression said it all and your emotions are very strong. I won't lie, I had to think really hard with this one cause there are certain words that I'm not used to yet... But I really enjoyed it. |
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Comment by: zepol - 2007-09-09 20:52
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| Bravo, nuff said. |
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Haha first I was going to comment on the piece, but then I read through the comments prior to my own. I mean shit...I don't want to copy something someone else said.
Then I noticed 'csfastweb's remark and thought ok, pfft, I don't really agree but whatever ...BUT THEN I read your retort and died laughing, especially this part;
~I have no interest in following form when I can spend days chasing my own voice.
anyway nice job times two
Jen* |
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| GREAT WORK FROM BEGINNING TO END!!!!! UNIQUE FORM. |
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I love this: Renegade, maverick freeform...allows the reader to make of it what they will, very nonchalant. There is nothing slavish here; just unapologetic skill.
Bravo.
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