Can the centaur captain successfully lead his special forces team against an incursion by the Baba Yaga witch?

(Author's Note: This humorous fantasy was originally published online at AlienSkin Magazine in April 2005)

I did my utmost to stifle the faint echoing from my hooves. It felt next to impossible on the granite flagstones lining the corridor. The rest of the team seemed virtual ghosts compared to me. Sergeant Mansa held almost perfectly still up at point. The lion's head on the chimera sniffed the stagnant crypt air. The goat's head in the center of the chimera's back licked her lips in obvious anticipation. The slim dragon's head at the tip of the chimera's tail flicked back and forth. Perhaps she merely kept an eye on her lover, Tetz.

The infrequent liaisons between the chimera's tail and the giant serpent had not yet effected on our unit's moral, other than the irritation that it sometimes produced for the chimera's other heads. Tetz ignored Silvia and kept focused on the big double doors at the end of the corridor. His green tree trunk body lay rippled across the flagstones.

I clicked my tongue to signal a halt and raised one fist so that Ari wouldn't bump into my hindquarters. It was wasted effort because the ogre was distracted yet again by the glyphs scattered along the wall. I knew that he had a strong desire to translate the pictographs whereas the pixie on his shoulder exuded boredom. Fae obviously detested the silver chain shackling her to the ogre. But without it how was I to be sure she'd be available when I needed her?

Not that I was overly concerned about any of them except for Yuri. I twisted my torso so that I could better see the communication wizard sitting astraddle my horse half. When he shook his head I knew that another wizard must have been keeping Yuri from scrying into the next chamber. I hoped that he would concentrate well enough on his shield spell that our medic wouldn't have to spend most of her time licking his wounds.

Once I had the attention of all the team members I drew an arrow to signal the attack. As planned, Tetz looped himself in front of the doors and then uncoiled into them with greater power than Ari could've sustained in a single blow. The double doors broke apart with enough force to dislodge the upper most hinges. Mansa leaped inside with Silvia's rear dragon claws clicking traction. I galloped after into a cavernous room crowed with geometric shapes.

Goat men charged down triangular slopes toward us or hurled javelins from the tops of rectangular hills. I quickly estimated at least fifty satyr infantry, all well armored with an assortment of weapons. My troops were already reducing the size of that force with Tetz crushing the breath from two of them while sinking poisonous fangs into a third. The chimera pounced well within the ranks of charging infantry, the sergeant's powerful claws easily slashing through plate and ring mail. Death trailed the chimera as well with a constant fire stream of dragon's breath as thick as a spear shaft. I feathered a number of goat men myself, drawing from those shafts that lacked enchantment. All the while I searched the larger geometric spires for signs of wizardry. I spied him soon enough and correctly identified him to be a weather caster even before he stormed us.

The chamber soon swirled with snow flurries leaving all a slickly white. The chimera scratched for traction and the sharp temperature drop was forcing Tetz into involuntary hibernation shock. Without much time to lose I drew the one arrow I'd specifically requisitioned for this mission. At a cost of 20,000 gold coins I wasn't about to deploy the Phoenix warhead lightly. Yet, if I didn't interrupt the storm the snow would soon progress into ice sickles sharp enough to pierce even Ari's stony hide.

I launched the warhead at a seventy-five degree angle and covered my eyes for what would follow. The explosive flash burned away the snow flurries and dispelled the mounting effects of the magic. Just as soon as the brightness faded I drew forth the seeker shaft and spoke the type of mage I wished for it to hunt. I made aim for the uppermost pinnacle, the mage seeming to float on the clouds surrounding him. I had only to loose the seeker and watch it sink into his billowing robes. With him died the lighting stabs forming on his fingertips.

The satyrs attempted escape but were uncoordinated without their wizard. I used a few more of my standard arrows with the other team members accomplishing the real slaughter. Fae's contribution with her tiny bow was moderate, though poisonously deadly. She flitted about at the end of her silver tether loosing the needles she drew from various slings sewn onto Ari's tunic. Ari, of course, didn't require any additional weaponry. Aside from punching with his fists or tearing the appendages off of opponents, he tended to throw whatever was available. At the moment this consisted of smashing one satyr infantryman against another.

Once all of the tomb raiders were eliminated I called the team together for medical attention. Greta was already licking the front of her body where the lion third of the chimera had sustained edged weapon injury. The medic's tongue lapped at the gashes, simultaneously cleansing them from the possibility of infection and magically sealing the ruptured flesh layer. I had yet to see the maximum extension of Greta's healing tongue.

All though the sergeant appreciated the attention, medic Greta received a different response when she tried to lick the dragon third. 'Don't waste your saliva on me.'� Silvia's narrow dragonhead looped around on the end of the tail to confront the goat's head on the chimera's back. 'Tetz needs your help.'�

It was true. Momentarily slowed by the cold, Tetz had been attacked from all sides by satyrs desperate to free their comrades from his crush. His natural scale armor had served its purpose with the exception of a few areas where the thrusting weapons had worked underneath the overlap.

'I determine who has the greatest need.'� Greta was somewhat difficult to understand with her tongue still engaged on her hindquarters. Nevertheless, she complied with the desires of her rear most personality.

While our medic licked Tetz's wounds, I granted him permission to swallow one of the recently expired satyr goats. I was well aware that the feeding would boost his immune system and replace vital fluids. I just had to accept the fact that the three-day ration would make him a little slower. Once the lower hooves passed his unhinged jaws he shifted towards me.

'Thank you, Captain and you also, Greta. I feel most recovered.'�

'Certainly. I wouldn't want to lose one my best scouts.'� I turned at the sound of a tiny voice replacing a smooth one.

'What about me, centaur?'� Fae pulled at the length of her chain and then it pulled her. 'Not that way, ogre.'� Ari stepped closer to the glyph-covered triangle he examined without caring to respond.

'Captain. You will address by rank hierarchy, specialist.'�

'Sorry, Captain. This chain isn't necessary, is it? Haven't I always searched the hidden ways when you beckon? Captain.'� She added belatedly.

'Yes to both of your questions. You are indeed most obedient, with the exception of those times in between orders when something distracts you. In some ways you have worse curiosity than specialist Ari.'�

'That is so unfair, Captain. And untrue. He seeks to unravel mystery while I love beauty.'�

I didn't want to spend time on this argument again and as such, I gladly accepted Yuri's interruption.

'Central Command to Captain Kiron. Status report.'� Yuri spoke the words in a voice not his own. I recognized it at once as belonging to General Miasma, our minotaur commander. I immediately trotted over to where a dismounted Yuri had been searching the slain enemy wizard for pertinent documents.

'Kiron here. Go ahead, General.'� I looked into Yuri's face, focusing on the movements of his mouth while the remainder of his features remained slack with eyes rolled backwards.

'Good to hear from you again, Captain. I assume that with our communication no longer interfered with that you have accomplished your mission.'�

'That's affirmative, sir. Just a local incursion after all. Confirmed weather caster plus fifty satyrs. All eliminated now. All friendly casualties have been treated and remain combat capable.'�

'Excellent, Captain. But it seems that you are the only one with good news. You won't have time to return and debrief. We've had a major incursion while you were incommunicado. The portal is on grid five, axis 10-y by 5-x.'� Those coordinates required no calculation.

'Baba Yaga.'�

'That's right, son. We've both hoofed down that path before. Except this time it's much worse. The witch opened up a stable portal. You need to do more than just repel. Find the power source maintaining the breach and take any measures necessary to close it. Understood, Captain?'�

'I copy, sir. Search and destroy.'� Even if it meant permanent exile on the other side. I could only hope that there would be a delay between device destruction and portal closure, but there were no guarantees.

Yuri's eyes rolled forward and he collapsed in a faint confirming that the transmission was at an end. I looked to Ari, now gathered around me with the rest of the team.

'Saddle him up. We've got a witch to hunt.'�

When we finally caught up with old Bony Legs, she'd already reduced the population of one our villages by half. The nearly skeletal witch hovered above her carnage on a large mortar. The legs of a few of her victims sprouted over the edge of the bowl and Yaga's carrot thin nose wobbled as iron teeth worked on a calf muscle. She spotted me when I galloped from the tree cover to get within bow range. Yaga whipped up such a wind that my seeker arrow splintered against her mortar bowl. The pieces swirled into the maelstrom to join with up rooted roof shingles. The witch pushed off with her overly large pestle, knocking a hole into an adjacent building.

I thundered after the hag with the wind ripping at my instructions to Yuri. He hung onto my waist so tightly I could feel his arms trembling through my chain mail. I realized that his people had been particularly conditioned to fear Baba Yaga. Despite that, he confirmed that he had a solid lock onto the witch. It wasn't long before she out flew us, but Yuri was still able to home in on her.

We found the portal in a clearing, pulsating and rippling with an energy that distorted the tall grass behind it.

'Confirm that she passed through,'� I said the Yuri. He replied with a weak affirmative. 'Have you picked up the power source?'�

'Yes. It's faint but should increase as we get closer.'� I hoped that his lack of enthusiasm was a contagion that the other team members were immune to. I decided against chancing it.

'All of you listen up. You all knew the risks of volunteering for the Quick Reaction Team. And you saw what Yaga did to that village. You need only think of your own homes to imagine what will happen if we don't close that portal. Now let's go!'�

When we passed through the portal I realized that although I'd adapted to the constantly shifting visual distortions, the seismic tremors still roiled both of my stomachs. The effects were fortunately short lived and we emerged safely into the thick forest habitat of the Yaga witch.

Yuri's magical sensation soon guided us to the bony perimeter fence surrounding the Yaga head quarters. The witch remained unseen around the small hut. The fence's height seemed too prohibitive for Sgt. Mansa to jump. The radioactive skulls made it too hot to climb and there was no use flying the pixie over without the rest of us.

I sent Ari in without Fae, watching his hide blister long before he reached the glowing skulls. I estimated that he could with stand no more than minute of exposure. When he pulled down an entire section of the fence in less than half that time I realized that the QRT had recruited the best demolition expert I'd seen in at least a century. The radiation soon died from an incomplete circuit.

When we invaded the inner perimeter the hut immediately elevated on its giant chicken legs. The legs spun in our direction fast enough to force me to miss with an acid arrow. Striding well above our heads the tornado legs touched down in our midst, kicking Ari and Mansa down on the grass. I avoided one raking claw only to rear back and take a claw thrust to the chest wall of my horse half. Each claw was a spearhead that easily penetrated the chain mail in that area. I remained attached until Ari's hammer fist broke the contact.

My front legs gave out and I kneeled in the grass even as I watched Tetz curl thickly around the chicken legs. He drew then together into a most effective hobble. Once the legs were immobilized the hut slammed down, crushing the giant python beneath its weight.

'No!'� Silvia wept steamy tears over the remains of her lover now squishing outwards from the edges of the hut.

I rolled over on one flank unaware whether or not Yuri had been able to clear his saddle. I wasn't sure if the shock I felt came from my injuries or from losing a team member for the first time in nearly half a millennium.

The chimera stood over me so that Greta's tongue could snake into my wounds. I felt her seal all but one of the piercings. The last gaping hole had been far deeper than the rest. She penetrated it, weaving her healing appendage into the cavity of my horse chest. Despite the shock I felt every movement, no matter how minute. Her tongue writhed to mend each ruptured organ and staunch my internal bleeding. Several minutes passed until my strength returned and all the while I suffered barely audible sobs from Silvia. Denial of Tetz's death remained heavily upon me. If I hadn't missed with that arrow our newest recruit wouldn't have had to give his life for me.

Once I was back on my hooves Ari battered through the door and we all squeezed into the one room hut. We bumped up against the centerpiece cauldron, peering into nooks full of bone and web. Yuri shook his head. The source wasn't in this room, but he irrationally insisted it was inside the hut. There was one additional door. It looked like a back way out, but when we opened it we could see into another room apparently expanding past the hut's capacity. Over the millennia intelligence reports had filtered into Central Command intimating the possibility of a multiplexing dimensional overlay within Yaga's headquarters. Yuri's photographic memory could become an intelligence treasure trove assuming he lived to return to Central Command. Assuming any of us lived to return.

Fae reported no evidence of any traps and so we entered into a long room that appeared to be nothing more than an art gallery. Portraits and other paintings lined the walls with one in particular drawing my attention. The rendition detailed a rolling plain accumulating on a grassy knoll populated by the fairer gender of my race. I somehow felted bonded to those mares and a desire rose within me to join them. Only Yuri's incantation broke my trance. When I looked around I saw other members of the team emerging from a similar daze.

'These soulscapes will enthrall us unless we leave,'� said the communication wizard.

We exited through yet another door and I chastised myself for nearly allowing my team to meet such a simple doom. From there we passed through a variety of rooms with Fae contributing her skills as an infiltration specialist through the disarmament of several traps. She could easily fly where we could not and fit her three-inch frame into impossible locations. The procedure worked well until we entered a dead end library.

As far as libraries go this one wasn't much different than others I've visited. Cluttered as it was with tables and shelves, a long bodied fellow such as myself often has difficulty just finding a place to stand. Fae flitted about the shelves lining the walls and nearly gave up in frustration before uncovering a hole behind a large tomb. Even she barely fit through it. It wasn't a long wait after that before the library shelves parted to reveal passage. My relief exchanged for sudden panic at the utterance of a tiny scream. We charged in to find our pixie impaled by a dart as good as a spear would've been to the rest of us. Or a small tree trunk for Ari. Greta flicked her tongue only to immediately confirm a poisonous death.

Yet another casualty in my command. I'd expected exile not such common extermination. We were the best of the best. We weren't supposed to die. I had no time to mull my regret for Sergeant Mansa warned that the dart had come from no trap. At the far end of the room a red clad knight lowered a small crossbow attached to one forearm. In its stead he took up a lance while two other knights, one all in white and the other black looked on. A shimmering barrier seemed to fence between us.

'Centaur,'� said the red knight, 'I challenge you.'� His lance pointed to a row of similar instruments projecting above shields on my side of the barrier.

I hesitated.

'Captain,'� whispered Yuri, 'the power source sits on a stand beyond the horsemen.'� I saw a crystal replica of Yaga's hut and this one seemed as beautiful as the witch's abode was ugly.

'I accept.'� I choose lance and shield while quelling the protests from my team members. I assured them that I would achieve justice for the fallen and accomplish our mission. Yuri dismounted to wait with the others.

At my approach the barrier momentarily subsided, much as I imagined it had for Fae's killing dart. The red matched my gait with his own horse and transitioned from trot to full gallop. Whether the red knight was a jouster of some renown or merely a manifested creature of the Yaga witch made no difference to me. It mattered not, because as separate entities, horse and rider could not hope to respond with the unity my joined bodies accomplished for me. With relish I flexed from the path of the red lance, thrusting my own through shield, chest and back. My frame butted the other horse to one side.

I drew my war hammer and made for the crystal hut only to find the way blocked by white and black horsemen. A tall horseman's axe and a long thrashing flail opposed me so that no matter how I maneuvered I could not avoid the steady battering of my own shield. Neither did my hammer affect much their well-armored forms.

A bright flash danced across the metal shields lining the room. The leaping form of Sergeant Mansa soon evidenced that something had transpired behind me. The lion portion of the chimera dismounted the white warrior as easily as Ari hurtled the black knight against the crystal hut. Silvia followed with streaming magical dragon flame that flamboyantly destroyed the power source. There erupted a shriek that could originate from none other than Baba Yaga. Yet where the witch was I could not yet say.

Then I saw Yuri's inert form. Ari scooped up the barely breathing wizard and as we ran they told me about how he had overloaded the barrier through the use of his own magical shield. This one I might yet save if only escape were possible.

We retraced our route, ever hearing a repeat of Yaga's high-pitched screech and never knowing if the next turn would bring her to us. Only when we neared the exit to that horrible hut did I realize that Silvia had been trailing a steady stream of fiery revenge. At first I angered that she acted without orders, but I soon realized that her actions had spared us the wrath of the black goddess. The crone was occupied sending a slipstream of rain into her hut. And though she sent her wailing demons after us we gained escape through the last flickering of a dying portal.

My debriefing with the General would be considerable. He alone would determine the fitness of my command just as I alone would determine whether I still had the heart for it.

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