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Words: 547
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Comments: 8

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First Love

I'd always thought the saying. 'Love at first sight.' as an over-used and banal expression associated with soap opera's, until that is that fateful day I drove Mum into town for her monthly pilgrimage to the hair dresser's. Knowing Mum would be occupied in, what to me, were the female mysteries of the hair dresser's salon, for at least an hour and a half, I decided to go for a stroll and do a little window shopping.
All the time i was unconsciously wending my way towards a fast food venue I knew of.
Casually glancing in the windows of the shops I passed, I was stopped in my tracks by a vision of pure loveliness, the epiphany of the most perfect creation I had ever seen left me stunned, her beauty took my breath away, after years of ridiculing the saying.
I was now not only a believer, I was a very willing participant, with my heart racing I knew it was love at first sight.
When I returned to the hairdressing salon and picked up Mum I could contain myself no longer and told her of my discovery.
I was in love, I spoke in breathless wonder telling her I had discovered my first irresistible love, Mum smiled gently and remained quiet, I glanced at her and wondered why my stupendous news was being treated with such equanimity.
Then it clicked, what an insensitive fool I am, I immediately went into damage control mode and congratulated her on the way her new hair style made her look at least ten years younger, upon reflection and with the aid of a swift side way's glance, I could see this little bit of flattery really wasn't very far from the truth.
For the next three weeks, like a lovelorn adolescent, hardly a day went by that I didn't find myself outside that window soaking up the vision of my first infatuation.
The morning eventually came when I made up my mind, come hell or high water, I was going into that shop, if I got a refusal so be it, at least I'd tried, with a nervous glance around I turned the handle and entered.
A week later I took her home, Mum, Dad and Sis were on the front veranda, I was very nervous about my families reaction to her and breathed a sigh of relief when Dad pulled me to one side and whispered 'You lucky bugger, she's beautiful.'
For years we were inseparable, I lavished love and attention on her and everything I'd expected of her she fulfilled, we went everywhere together.
As we both aged my love for her never diminished, alas, Old Father Time demands his levy and in the fullness of time she passed out of my life forever.
I was beside myself with grief, my sister tried to help but I was inconsolable, the love of my life had gone, and I felt so powerless.
Eventually the day arrived when I realized a man can't grieve forever, life must go on, but I swear I'll never forget her, my one and only, my beautiful H.J.Holden.

This is one of my friends work
(c) copyright George Murdoch 2006

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Comments  
CharredQuill Comment by: CharredQuill - 2007-04-13 00:23
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Yeah, sadly I expected the twist as well, though I didn't expect it to be a car. For a while I thought that the main character in this was female, as I haven't heard many stories with the son dropping their mother off at the hair salon and then going for a walk around.

I sort of expected it to be the daughter who had seen a dress or some jewellery that she adored, but it's still a good read.

I have one similar to it about a boy who loves his computer a little too much, so I enjoy reading these types of stories from other people.
emmajones Comment by: emmajones - 2006-04-30 12:41
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This was an easy and enjoyable read, which is always a plus I think. It's capturing people's attention that's the main thing and I think you achieved it with this.
Celtios Comment by: Celtios - 2006-01-11 20:08
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love the twist at the end, nice styling as well. look forward to more of your work.
Karina K Comment by: Karina K - 2005-12-29 13:25
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I made the mistake of reading the comments before the story. I must stop doing that! Very easy read and captivating. Thanks for sharing.
ThePenguin Comment by: ThePenguin - 2005-12-29 12:08
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I love the twisty turny story style! Well done!

It could do with a little tightening (too many adjectives) and a little bit of lengthening (more raptures and emotions) to make it stronger - this kind of twist can take it to around 1000 words, without losing the flavour.
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