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Quigley
josh x
United States, CA, HUNTINGTON BEACH

Words: 492
Access: Public
Comments: 5

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Of Men and Dogs - "City Smells" Flash Competition

Bobby my border collie companion sat at my feet. His pleading, enraptured eyes gleamed with need and barely-held self restraint. My hand with the sausage paused halfway to my mouth. Bobby's eyes were locked on this morsel, his entire body quivering with anticipation.
'You dumb dog! Why do you always beg?' I scolded him. His ears wilted and his nose and tail sunk down in a perfect picture of shame and contriteness. Taking pity, I slipped him half the sausage and it disappeared in a blink. Tail wagging, Bobby now pranced towards the door. I grabbed his leash and we were off on our morning walk.

The sights and sounds of Chicago enveloped us as we padded along State street. Tall buildings reflected heat from the sun, marred slightly by the stink of stale urine. A likely culprit sat on the sidewalk with layered dirty clothes. Bobby sniffed in his direction and snorted, following that with a doggy sneeze. I agreed, not envying his sensitive nose.

Other pedestrians offered kinder scents of mouthwash, cologne, or eddies of perfume. One pretty woman in a smartly-cut grey blazer returned my engaging smile with a grin of her own. A simple thrill of life buzzed through me, and even Bobby seemed to feel it.

We were moving fast along the sidewalk when the most bewitching scent ensnared me. I was struck by how delicate and yet powerful it was. It was the perfect sugary treat, the freshness of a field of wildflowers in spring, and the seductive smell of a gorgeous woman. Breathing deeply, my nose turned to follow a shop door swinging shut. I grabbed the handle before it could close and stepped inside. I was overcome. The scent was so mesmerizing that for several minutes I just stood there, Bobby waiting patiently by my side.

'Excuse me sir, the dog will have to wait outside.' The man behind the counter said with a touch of irritation that I barely heard.

'What is that smell?' I blurted.

His eyes darkened knowingly, 'I understand. Wait here.' He disappeared behind a curtain. I stood still, trying to place the scent. A woman with a curvy figure, heart-shaped face, and strong, arched nose appeared. The scent grew stronger.

'I am Mistress Emily.' She flipped her auburn hair over one shapely shoulder, 'What do you seek?'

'I want what I smell!'

She smiled then and I was struck by the beauty of that expression. She held out her hand in greeting. I took it in mine and bent to kiss it. She smelled intoxicating, and I found myself nuzzling her palm. Soon, I was licking her hand over and over. I met her sparkling eyes and felt devotion. I was so filled with joy and love that her rebuke came as a shock. 'Stop that!' she said sharply. Then softer, 'Obey me and you will please me.'

Since that day her happiness is all I've wanted.

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Comments  
Cherley Comment by: Cherley - 2007-07-18 14:51
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This is very clever in the way the man did turn into the animal. I liked that, even though it was a little odd that he was licking her hand. LOL She must have really smelled great.
darcilawless Comment by: darcilawless - 2007-04-05 18:54
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It's funny but you seemed to have turned into the personification of your dog. In a sense (teehee) I'd like to see more of the personification. Nice read.
cheers
darci
peterob29 Comment by: peterob29 - 2007-03-29 05:07
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Nice twist to the normal love at first sight (or sniff). The word "assaulted" has a negative connotation. You may be assaulted by the hobo's stench but not by the scent you found so bewitching, just my thought while reading.
Good job.
Teri Comment by: Teri - 2007-03-27 12:44
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heh heh. a little mistress dominatrix, yes? very clever. a few punctuation boo-boos you may wish to correct, but nothing overwhelming. [commas missing, mostly] grey should be gray since you're from the states. [smiles]

mainly, the only real suggestion i can make is, for me, the story started with 'the sights and sounds ...'. i'd like to know more about the narrator and less about the dog, although i do like dogs, don't get me wrong. as always, this is merely my opinion and should be ignored.

thanks for the reads. sorry about the lack of caps.

teri
Comment by: - 2007-03-26 21:52
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So man becomes pet. ^_^ I think I've slapped a few noses in my time as well, lol. Nicely written.
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