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Tina san
Tina Boruschewitz
United States, nevada, HJenderson

Words: 3212
Access: Public
Comments: 2

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"the chosen one"

this is the first chapter of a book i have been writning
and depending on the feedback i might but up another chapter.


Chapter one: ?From a broken heart to a baby?

Even though Tona was young in her late 20?s she looked to be about 50 with her long silver hair common among witches. This day though was unlike any other Tona had her 8 year old daughter with her Alina. She was different then her mother she had curly blonde hair and greens eyes unlike her mothers blue. Alina looked nothing like her mother at all but looked more like her father Cunaki. Who had recently left leaving Tona to fend for self Alina and an unborn babe yet to come?
Tona didn't talk much to the other villagers but came to they aid when they needed medicines and healing or just stupid spell s for absolutely nothing at all. Today though Tona was with her friend Certine to gather herbs for her up coming birth. For you see they were both witches and midwives to almost all the women in the villages.
It all seems seemed like a normal day in the market when the mayor and the resident physic and her daughter stood on the podium made for just an occasion. Calling attention the mayor made a short speech before he let the two women take over. Gladly giving the women the stage the mayor fled in panic.
?People of the town stolen my mother has had a vision on the ?chosen one?.? she paused and let the shock sink in, ?according to my mother the chosen one will come in the fall of this year. The child with also have a counter part. The chosen ones counter part will be completely opposite then what the chosen will be in every way.
?We all know what this means. Our judge judgment is coming. The chosen ones destiny is in the making. The child will bring out the good and evil natures of us all out. If you have pretended to be good and are not the chosen one will know and likewise. The chosen one knows all and will tell nothing. But on the coming of the chosen one's 20 birthday the judgment will come and the destiny of the world lies in the child's hands. This all I have to say on the matter.? The two women left scurrying though the crowd to hopefully get away from the mob that would surly come after such a vision.
Just then Tona put her hand to her stomach. Looking at Certine she grew pale. She was pregnant and she just realized it in shock. She took Certine?s hand trying to speak her throat tightened causing her to cough and sputter.
?What?s wrong Tona?? Certine asked rubbing her friends back trying to support the falling women.
?Mamma. Mamma what's wrong. Mamma please don?t leave me like daddy did.? Alina cried tears pouring down her face as she clung to Tona?s hand.
Falling to her knees besides her daughter Tona fought down her coughing fits to embrace her daughter. Gasping for air and shaking she wrapped her arms around Alina soothing her and calming her
?Don?t worry little one I'm not going any where. ? Tona stuttered as kissed the top of her daughters head. ?I wont every leave don't think for a moment that a little coughing fit would take me form you.?
?Are you sure?? Alina asked wiping tears from her eyes as Tona nodded her eyes.
Standing Tona picked up Alina and after reassuring Certine they continued to the herb shop s. Tona and Alina were staying with Certine and her husband Draco so Tona could get her feet back on the ground and find a place of her own. She also wanted to be near by so she could be their when Certine had her baby. After getting the right herbs, they went home.
Tona helped with dinner as Draco played with Alina. Not fully satisfied with Tona earlier explanation on her sudden fit. Certine questioned her and confined that she was scared that her baby would be the chosen one.
?I know you know why you suddenly got that coughing fit in the market so comes on tell me and you know I won?t leave you alone till you tell me.? Certine stated simply watching Tona out of the Corner of her eye as she set the table.
?Right as always my friend. After they physic and her daughter got off the podium I realized something. I am pregnant again. And before Cunaki left me? she winced the wounded was still fresh; ?he said there my task is done. And that was the last time I saw him.? her head down Tona stirred the stew.
?I get it meaning your child is going to be the chosen one. Wow Tona this is a big deal. We can?t tell any one or you might be killed.? Certine gasped and hugged her friend tight.
?I know and have to live for Alina. I don't want you dwelling on my problem to much, it might cause you to go in to premature labor and we cant risk harming your child.? Tona released her friend and went to get her daughter for dinner.
Tona forced her self to eat for her unborn babe?s sake as well as for Certine and Alina. Wanting to show that she really wasn't that upset even though she wouldn't sleep for weeks after this news. She wasn't sure how she knew it was her child that was the chosen one but she just had this feeling and it scared her sill. Weeks went by while they waited for the deliver date for Certine.
Finally about 3 weeks after the news of the chosen one sent the entire town in t hysteria Certine went in to labor around the time of the midday meal. Tona took charge of the birth as she always did helping-ping Certine with the pushing and breathing while she soothed the Nerves of her husband. Something that she was very good at. She also put Alina to work getting towels and wetting rags.
Even though all the turmoil around her Alina was having fun. Having seen enough births she wasn't afraid of the screams and the blood that would flow. She thoroughly enjoyed every part of this process.
After a relatively easy birth a baby boy was born to Certine and Draco. They named Dako after the birth Tona decided to tell Alina that she was pregnant. This made the child's day even more pleasant. She helped in a birth and now she was going to have a little brother or sister. To her nothing could be better. Alina couldn?t figure out why her mother was not as happy as she was.
It was near bed time when everything got cleaned up and straightened out and Tona sent Certine the baby and Alina off to bed. Sitting in the family room of the big old farm house she cried. This was the first time in who knows how long that she had the time and the privacy to cry and be alone for any length of time. She sat there and cried for who knows how long when she felt a hand upon her shoulder.
Looking up into the eyes of Draco. She started to sob more and buried her chest in to her lap.
?I never thought I would see a women unhappy to be having a baby.? Draco said as he knelt beside tona and put an arm around her. instantly she fell to the floor and buried her head in to his chest crying. she need the feeling and reassurance. ?Certine told me what is wrong. it cant be all bad you know. Tona time will tell and you know you are welcome here as long as you need. I can?t image how hard it is for you but I am here if you need to talk to any one. Since my wife is going to bed ridden for a while.?
Removing her head for his chest his wiped the tears form her eyes, ?I thank you. You and Certine have been nothing but kind to me. it isn't just the fact that my child is going to be the chosen one that scares me most it is the fact the child is fatherless and that the life inside me isn't going to have a life. Always seeing evil and good. What kind of lives is that? that you know that one day you are going to either destroy the world or heal is to big of a burden then one person can handle.?
?I understand where you are coming form with this, but you need not to worry the child will have a wise lady for a mother that can help though things. Who knows maybe the child will be an inspiration to the world and might save it instead of killing it like the priest say.? Draco said helping Tona to her feet and leading her to the room she shared with Alina.
?Thank you Draco. I can see why Certine married you.? She nodded her thanks changed into her night clothes and climbs in beside her sleeping child and went to sleep. She slept though it was fretful and she tossed and turned all night.
Waking up the next morning she thanked mother goddess that she had not squished Alina. She got out of bed feeling as though she had a hang over. Quickly she got dressed combed her and cleaned her teeth. Hurrying down stair she saw Draco with his son playing on the floor. She smiled at least someone was having fun. She quickly made breakfast and took some upstairs to Certine. Then left the rest for the morning
Meal.
Tona went looking for Alina to get her breakfast. She told Draco it was breakfast time for him and the baby. Shooing him in the kitchen she took the baby upstairs to get his milk. Leaving him in the care of his mother she went looking for Alina again. She looked though the house. She wasn't there. She looked out one of the windows and saw her playing in the dirt. Tona sighed and went out side to retrieve her daughter.
She went to gather Alina when she looked up in to the forest and saw Cunika in the forest laughing as he watched his daughter.
?Alina breakfast. Hurry dear or it is going to get cold.? tona cried out watching cunika out of the Corner of her eye. the man she once and still loved turned his blue eyes on her. He brushed his long blonde hair out of his eyes.
Smiling he walked toward her. Tona rushed Alina in the house and stood in front of the door blocking Cunaki form view. Her heart beat quickened.
*please don t do anything to me Tona thought.
?My dear what a pleasure to see you her. I thought I would find you her. This is where you always go.? he reached out a hand to touch her face.
Muttering some words a barrier went up around Tona and burnt Cunika?s fingers.
?Now. Now that wasn't very nice. Was it. why the are you being so cold to me my love?? he asked Tona stared in to his eyes and refused to say anything at all, ?come now is this how you treat the father of your kids.?
?Why are you here?? Tona asked shaking but trying to hide it.
?Oh you know why my love. I came to see how your pregnancy is going.? he smirked.
?That is none of your business any more Cunika. Remembere you left me.? Tona said her courage coming back to her as she talked more steadily.
?I think it is Tona it is my child now isn't it.? she nodded reluctantly, ?then I have a right to come and as about don't I??
?No you don't I am not yours anymore. yes it is your child, but that doesn't give you the right to come looking for me to ask how me and the baby are doing.? Tona spat.
Ignoring her he took another step toward her, ?you are what a month and a half along.?
?I think that is about right or maybe two now.? Tona said annoyed.
?Well then I am off then. That is if I am allowed to see Alina.? Tona glared., ?I guess not then. Ill see you again soon my dear. You can count on that.? he turned and walked away form her.
She waited until he was out of sight then turned and went in to the house. She explained to Alina that she didn't want her to go outside unless an adult was with her and refused to tell her why. That night she told Draco what happened and then went to talk with Certine.
The rest of Tona's pregnancy went with out incident. Until the night before she went into labor. a knock on the down was heard and Draco went to answer it. Tona followed having a feeling she knew who it was going to be. Sure enough it was Cunaki.
Demanding to be let in to talk and see Tona. Draco refused to let him in. growing mad Cunaki started banging on the door trying to break it down. Tona screamed for Certine to take her baby and Alina out of the family room. Going to the door she made Draco move to go calm his wife and her daughter.
?What is it that you want Cunaki?? Tona asked after she put an enchantment on door to keep it form breaking.
?I want in that is what I want. Let me in damn it.? he shouted still pounding on the door.
?No and no.? she said firmly turning away.
?Don?t you dear turn away form me you witch.? he screamed.
?Looks like I did. You did it to me so it is your turn to be turned away form.? Tona smiled and kept walking.
?No please don't, I have something to tell you it is important. Please come back.? he clamed and pleaded at the door.
?Tell me form there I wont open the door to your being again.? she stated and dragged a chair over in front of the door.
?I know what the child will be. And some people know your the mother and are coming for you after the birth of the child.? Cunaki said as tears ran down his face.
?Who knows? How do they know? You didn't say anything did you?? Tona started to panic.
?The physic saw it and told the whole town today. you have to find a place for the child after her birth.? he said
?Wait I'm having a girl.? she smiled slightly, ?I know where I can take her.?
?Tell me please.? he begged as he wiped tears away.
?No I will not. I will go after the child is born and take her there. I thank you for the warning but I don't want to hear any more I have to go right a letter to my child's adopted family.? she got up and left Cunaki there grinning.
For you see he made the whole thing up the crying and all, but Tona didn't know this. His plan is simple take away the child's only protection. The mother. it had worked and he knew by Tona's face that he had tricked her. The only thing now left to do was to make sure the prophecy came true.
Tona told Certine and Draco what Cunaki said and prepared a letter to the child?s new family. The next day Tona went in to labor. It wasn?t as easy as Certine?s or her first birth. After a long painful struggle for Tona that almost cost her, her life. Even though Cunaki made up the whole story he told Tona the child was in fact a beautiful baby girl was born with silver hair. Which was unusual because most babies are not born with hair. And sparkling blue eyes that looked liked sapphires in the child?s head.
Recovery took Tona about a month to fully recover form the birth, or even until Certine would let her off bed rest. Getting a response form the letter Tona had written to the child?s new parents, who in fact were the king and queen of the country of Tiedeo. Tona packed enough clothes and food for about a week. She took are to make sure that the child that she decided to name Sappira, meaning blue in the ancient tongue, had enough blankets and cloth for diapers. Then she headed off.
the palace was only a three days away but Tona wanted to make sure that she had plenty of supplies to get her there. She placed wards around her so no one could see her or hear her. She made her way as fast as she dared. She stopped only when she couldn?t see anything at night then got up and hour before dawn the next day to be off again.
She continued this rate until she got to the palace three days later. She was greeted in secret. Swiftness was of great importance as Tona stressed it. So the king and queen met Tona outside in the stables where they met Sappira face to face and took the child up in to the castle with Tona so she could say goodbye perhaps forever. Tears silently ran down her face.
The queen concerned kept asking if she was sure on her decision with the child?s fate. Tona just kept responding that it was the only way her child would live past baby hood. The king Karin and queen Tessaco knew that this child they would call their own was the chosen one Tona told them and made sure that they would keep it a secret. they weren?t to sure they could in the beginning but upon meeting the child it came clear that they wanted it the best for this baby girl. they fell in love with her as soon as they saw her and they vowed in front for Tona that they would do all they can for her child.
Content that they king and queen would keep the child safe she said her goodbyes and left teary eyed and her heart hurting horribly. She didn?t think it would be this hard to say good bye to her daughter. She walked out of the castle and back to the stables. Rubbing down her horse and burying her face in its mane for a long time crying before she got her under control enough so that she knew she would not fall off the horse in shame and tears. Then she continued to go home where a very upset little girl waited for her at home.

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Comments  
Robert Barlow Comment by: Robert Barlow - 2007-03-28 10:38
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Tina, you have a good writing voice, but I can see that you struggle with grammar and punctuation. Those are areas that will improve with time an effort. Also, as far as Edit Red formatting goes, you might add a space between paragraphs to make this easier to read. --Robert Barlow
TommyTaylor Comment by: TommyTaylor - 2007-03-27 20:42
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I liked the concept of the story and the flow was good, but it needs a lot of work. You As you have stated, you already know that you need work on quotations, commas, etc. I believe that you need to rethink some of the words or descriptions that you use in the story. One example is in one of the last paragraphs of your story. (only way her child would live past baby hood.) I strongly encourage you to find another word besides baby hood. Perhaps (would live past her first six years or would live past infancy or even would live past child hood). Just my thoughts, but as I said in the beginning, I liked it. Also, I made the same misstate. That of uploading a long story. As several were kind enough to tell me, I will also pass it along to you, stories longer than 1,000 â?? 2,000 words do not get read by very many people and therefore you will not receive much help on improving your writing skills.
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By Tina san

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