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aoifemannix
Aoife Mannix
Ireland

My Bookshop
Words: 155
Access: Public
Comments: 5

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Construction

This city breathes me in and out.
Every day the buildings crawl higher,
concrete weeds breaking through the sky.
Their glass eyes blink hungrily,
their skin silicon smooth.
Slowly they stretch their long tentacles
towards the light.

Far below in the broken street,
the elephants step over small children
begging with puppies.
A baby held in a three year old's arms,
the cuteness of poverty.
Yellow flowers sold in a traffic jam,
the neon smudge of the street sellers' faces,
great clouds of noodle smoke.

The massage parlours tumble over each other.
The chaos of cotton candy, t-shirts, Buddhas,
girls in tight skirts who trade in smiles,
fried insects, warm beer.
The blast of a song I no longer recognize.
Vast video screens, the shrillness of advertising,
a heaving wall of pure noise.
It sucks the air from my lungs,
this constant drilling through the dust
of a thousand buildings waiting to be born.

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My Bookshop

Comments  
JMonroe Comment by: JMonroe - 2007-02-20 13:55
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"a baby held in a three year old's arms
the cuteness of poverty."

The imagery of this poem is beautiful. It is a very moving description as much as it is a reproach to those who ignore the chaos or idolize the city without every really "seeing" it...
denisedee Comment by: denisedee - 2006-01-08 08:46
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the first and third stanzas were incredible! had me hanging on every word. the middle one lost me a bit i felt a bit more in your brain there- the other two were PURE sensation and feeling. i'm going to go read more of your work. glad to have found you!
inkimpression Comment by: inkimpression - 2005-12-22 13:17
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It sets up a landscape I have tried to apply in some of my own stories and I purely enjoyed it.
Charmain Comment by: Charmain - 2005-06-10 07:59
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I hope you got this published somewhere! Citizen32 must love your work, this is the type of poetry I have tried my best to write and fall flat on my face every time.

Only a very talented writer can turn a piece like this into a poem, where other writers fall flat on their faces sounding very monologue or in some cases hating having to say this â?? but sounding like flipping dictatorsâ?¦

Bring it on, an amazing job well done, youâ??re rocking my world big time.
Comment by: - 2005-04-10 13:11
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You evoke the crush and chaos of a large metropolitan city quite well in this poem. The thing that impresses me about your work is how you play the reader's senses like a xylophone. You hit on so many divergent sensory images, all with wonderful effect. I thought the final stanza was particularly strong, melting images together -- "The chaos of cotton candy" -- building toward a crescendo, but one that is entirely unexpected. In the midst of all this which seems so unnatural, the reader is left with the image of birth -- but birth like that in the end of Yeats' "Second Coming." Another stunning poem.
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By aoifemannix

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