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baballula
barbara .
United States, ca, san diego

Words: 35
Access: Public
Comments: 5

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Rampant hope

Is it worth the pain

Again

I don't need the drain



I can see the chains

On my brain

When hope strikes again



Hope-miserable vermin

Latent pollutant of my veins

My true evil twin

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Comments  
willowdax Comment by: willowdax - 2007-04-05 04:08
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I agree. Hope is miserable vermin. It makes us believe that all will be well "if only" and I drag it around like a ball and chain attached to my ankle. Wonderful read, thank you.
sudipal Comment by: sudipal - 2007-03-30 12:44
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I like the structure. Short sentences are good; it's like all your expectations fell short. The near-rhymes, too; like not everything is exactly as it should have been.

I like this poem.
Violet Blue Comment by: Violet Blue - 2007-03-29 16:10
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Another lullaby for Generation X. Sleep tight. Without hope.

Paul :D
baballula Comment by: baballula - 2007-03-29 15:29
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excellent - so very thank you :)
esparatazza Comment by: esparatazza - 2007-03-29 10:51
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I like your existentialist lament. I try to live without hope, because hope is an illusion. But, dammit, it always creeps back in when I'm weak, and always leads to despair.

The only thing I would suggest is changing the period after "Hope" in the third stanza. As it is the only punctuation, maybe a hyphen or a colon would make it more dramatic. For some reason, the period makes hope seem like a sympathetic character, though this is just how I took it. A hyphen would just make me realize that hope is truly miserable vermin.

Overall, great sentiment in the poem, and well put.
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By baballula

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