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What's the point
I loath seeing people come to realize things I have told them many a time before.
It makes me feel I have wasted time telling them anything and will no more.
Sometimes I wish I could go back to the time when I did not care and pine.
Caring about others and investing in others such fragile energy and time.
Then comes the realization, it is I who have been self absorbed.
I know because sometimes listening is painful, especially to the old man who does his laundry the same night as I do and farts as he talks with bad breath and loud, lisping voice.
I wonder if anyone else thinks this way?
I wonder who's the director of this life's play.
Is there a daddy God on whom we all depend, or is it an intelligence beyond the imagining of men.
Life is so delicate, no time to waste on those who do not pay attention, or is it just me who sees himself performing soulful interventions while seeking from others equally given attention.
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| Wow is that a real statement! But then, do we always remember what others have told us? I get mad when I tell someone something and it is like I talked to a wall! Others are self absorbed as well and have more on their minds then our little ramblings and advice. My family sure does for a fact! |
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Comment by: Anne - 2007-03-30 15:58
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I like this...I like the idea of you taking the core of a thought or emotion and unraveling it word by word with no inhibition...until everything is realised....loved the last stanza . Great poem.
Anne |
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Comment by: - 2007-03-29 22:08
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Very good, introspective poem, Michael ... one that raises some universal questions.
Good meter and rhyme, not predictable (a good thing), especially the concluding stanza.
MagicHappens has very good questions / suggestions, well worth exploring.
MCC |
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Hi Michael,
I think this is an intriguing, emotion subject to write a poem about.
I would like to see you dig one layer deeper with your choice of words. For example, I feel your thoughts on this subject struck you strongly enough that you might use a stronger word than "dislike" in the first line. Dislike is a lightweight word. Is there a word that better describes the way you REALLY feel? Like "despise", etc.
I'm not sure about the meaning of the word "fagile".
And I think I'd like more explanation on why you feel you've been self-absorbed. An example perhaps, something illustrative.
Just a few comments there. I realize this is a very fresh work, so I hope my comments are helpful in crafting this to its next level. |
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| Now that I have read it I would add soulfull before the word intervetions |
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