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Conjurer
You have made me a ghost in my own life,
the words empty mirrors.
I move through your chameleon rooms,
the windows are high with open mouths.
I eat the shadows,
hungrily practicing my invisibility.
The lies you twist around me
taste salty on my tongue.
I dissolve in your mouth,
walk through the walls of your countries.
My breath is as thin as ice,
my lungs full of snowflakes.
I float softly across borders,
my suitcase holds nothing but ash.
I have inhaled the smoke of my own name,
it makes my eyes sting.
I skate over the surface of your stories,
try not to hear you cracking.
I melt under the heat of your ambiguity,
your world of icicles, the perfect murder,
the last frozen alibi.
I am your Turkish delight,
the undoing of memory.
You slide from black to white,
the small details, a question of emphasis,
the exchanging of secrets.
I never knew you were such a talented magician,
and yet I fear this time I will not reappear.
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| This is great. Love the imagery. Too many fantastic lines to even begin to choose a favourite, but that ending is a killer. |
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This poem has a really strong personality to it and beautifull imagery .
Well done !
xxx |
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I LOVE this poem. There is strong imagery here -- from the suitcase holding nothing but ash to the lies that taste salty on the speaker's tongue. I especially like your homage to C.S. Lewis and Narnia, using the Turkish delights as a means to wipe out memory. Very intricate! My only problem is the last stanza of two lines. I was expecting it to contain four lines (much like your first stanza) in order to keep form. It throws off the beat of the poem, in a strange way. I am not sure if it is intentional. It seems to work, so I cannot really complain.
Thanks for the read!
Brian Jaime :o) |
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I skate over the surface of your stories,
try not to hear you cracking.
I melt under the heat of your ambiguity,
your world of icicles, the perfect murder,
the last frozen alibi.
:) very creative Aoife, your angle works well throughout this poem. |
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Very nice.
Very deep with understandable images.
A good 1st person rendering. My trouble with so much of poetry, besides their rhyming i dread, is their abstraction of the voice, their altering a scene or idea into a still life... A third person coldness.
Even though this has a coldness, it is due to the experiences.
Thanks for permitting me to see it.
Bye,
jimmy |
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