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Comment by: jay - 2007-05-07 08:14
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| I like this poem. You are a very talented lady. |
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| oh dear, getting older sucks...to be 18 again. |
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I liked the interjections of each third line in the stanza. Especially the "She sells my favorite pudding" - uniquely done
john |
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Comment by: Quigley - 2007-04-20 05:38
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| This poem moves one to think of our own mortality, as it relates to us personally. I think that's the beauty of it. The way that it makes it about everyone but mostly about YOU. Then makes that YOU = the reader. I liked it. I did have one thought . . . in stanza three you used "favorite" twice. You can use a different word I am sure. "Beloved" works for the vendor, or maybe use "choice" or "tasty" for puddings. I don't know. A thesaurus would be better than my poor brain I am sure. Also changing tenses from past to present in the middle of a stanza breaks the reader's concentration. May wanna consider it. |
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| I like this. It includes the views of woman kind as they age. Really good work!! |
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