Begonda was sat in his cave, smoking a very fine cuban, when the man entered cautiously.

The monster raised his eyes. What now, for God's sake.

'H... Hello?'� The man called nervously into the dark.

'What is it?'� snapped Begonda in irritation.

'I... I'm from Toho,'� the man stammered, 'I've got a copy of the script for you.'�

There was a pause, then a sigh from the darkness.

'All right, let's see it.'�

A click, then light illuminated the cave from low hanging, energy saver bulbs in purple lamp shades. The man looked round impassive at the decoration. Begonda's home more represented a victorian brothel than a cave.

'Pass it here then,'� snapped Begonda from his chair.

The Toho man hurried over and passed the manuscript, Begonda reached down and snatched it, flicked through it, then paused about half way through.

'What the hell is this? I stomp Tokyo? I'm pretty sure I insisted I got to do Hong Kong this time. Oh well.'� He sighed and continued reading, then paused again.

'Hang on, I am the bad guy this time aren't I? I was promised a bad guy roll, I'm sick of being the nice fucking monster.'�

'The director said no,'� said the nervous employee, 'he said you're too erm... fluffy for a bad guy roll.'�

'Fluffy? FLUFFY!?!?! Who does that jumped up little turd think he is? This is not what I signed up for when I agreed to sign to Toho. The world is supposed to know how terrible I am, how exactly are they supposed to find out if I play Godzilla's fucking comic relief sidekick AGAIN?

'And what the hell's this? I get killed? By fucking Anguiras? I'll be a laughing stock, killed by an oversized armadillo. Mothra never puts up with any of this shit? Why the fuck should I?'�

'Mr Kagawa said you might say something like that.'�

'Oh did he?'�

'Yes, and he said to tell you...'�

'What? Exactly.'� growled Begonda, his eyes narrowing.

'That if you turn this down, you'll be put in Hello Kitty instead.'�

'No!'� gasped the monster, choking fearfully. 'He wouldn't, would he? He couldn't, surely? Could he?'�

'He says he's tired of your hissy fits, and that you should remember your place. If you can't hack it in the Godzilla series, then the only place left is kiddie anime.'�

'Oh that bitch! It's because I'm pink isn't it? Fucking bigoted film industry, no place for a colourful monster eating people there. No, it's fluffy white unicorns and irritating fucking kids all the way for us.'�

The employee, job done, retreated gratefully from the cave, barely able to make out the fading mutters coming from behind him as Begonda sank back into the shadows.

'Fucking bastard Godzilla, I didn't get any of this shit when the samurai were in charge, they don't know who they're messing with...'�

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