writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
JDQuinn
Jonas Quinn
Australia, Victoria, Melbourne

Words: 500
Access: Public
Comments: 10

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




Metropolis Reeking

Secluded by the darkness of a small alcove leading to a disused door, I watch them striding by, blind to the aroma of their self inflicted decadence. It is like this every day: human sheep clambering for the fastest path to their daily slavery, functioning to consume whilst being consumed by their function. There are millions of them in this city, each lost in their steel and concrete misery, cultivating the sickness that is my ambrosia.

For the most part they are as oblivious to me as they are ignorant of their own decay, though every now and then one will shoot me a fleeting glance, usually with the same contempt they offer to those whose lives are less fortunate than their own. I smile at their incessant ability to mistake me for one of their own, let alone one of their homeless, even more so when the sneer comes from a body at it's apex of stink. I am more important to them than they realize.

From the passing horde of stale, spoiling bodies, the waft of a fetid bowel nearing its day skewers my senses. A short, fat, and oily man waddles by slowly, washing down his cancer feeding carcass breakfast with multiple gulps of fizzy black water. I savor the unmistakable odor of a thriving cancerous polyp deep within him; I long to eviscerate it, but I cannot ' his time is not now. Bowel cancer will take him soon though; very soon.

Most city dwellers are just like him: disconnected from the universal truth, failing to comprehend the damage they inflict unto their mother, heedless of the ravaging they inflict upon themselves, deceiving their hearts in a kaleidoscope of stench. I can smell the truth of their lives, for I am a Reeker ' one who feeds on the taint of moribund flesh so that, at the moment of death, the soul may pass without trauma and pain.

Swiftly I am drawn to an elderly lady in a floral pink jumper. The smells of the crowd entwine in an orchestra of putrification, and through it all hers resonates like a concertmaster's violin. I close my eyes and feel her nausea engulf me. With each cigarette puff her brain, desperate for oxygen, screams upon deaf ears. Not mine though, as I trace the noisomeness trail of the bloody clump jousting its way through her carotid artery.

Abruptly she stops, faces shoving past with indignation. Her hand goes limp and the cigarette falls. Without me she would feel intense agony as the ruptured blood vessel drowns her brain; today is her lucky day. I inhale deep, pulling the rankness deep inside myself, allowing it's odor to feed me. I take her pain with euphoria until her soul is safely gone.

As the crowd slows to a stand-still, onlookers peering at her fallen, contorted body, I step from the alcove and move on, magnetized to a fetor emanating from a distant office block ' a new aroma calls me.

Want to comment on this Flash Fiction?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Flash Fiction and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
JDQuinn Comment by: JDQuinn - 2007-05-21 02:02
Add to Readers
      
Thanks yican. I hadn't heard it was a runner up, nor seen anything posted about that, but I'll take your word for it ;P
yican Comment by: yican - 2007-05-21 00:03
Add to Readers
      
Wow, I was really carried away with your story. The idea is really interesting. Congrats on becoming a runner up for the City Smell Anthology. I guess you wouldn't have to extend this piece LOL
JDQuinn Comment by: JDQuinn - 2007-05-04 00:59
Add to Readers
      
Blackbirdsong, thankyou and yes, I'm contemplating a follow up. I'm patiently waiting to see how I fair in the City Smells comp. If I'm fortunate enough to be chosen as a winner, I intend to write a follow up to this in a 2000 word format for the next City Smells competition. I have a story plan for it already, and think in the anthology it would work really well - a 500 word short story that leads into a related but separate 2000 word story, both of which could be published and link well together. I'm just waiting to see how the comp goes before I surge forward with this idea. If I don't win (and there are plenty of great entries) then I'd reconsider the 2000 word limitation on a follow up. Hence I'm just waiting right now....

Thanks again for your wonderful feedback!
Blackbirdsong Comment by: Blackbirdsong - 2007-05-03 23:24
Add to Readers
      
Wow this is just some stunningly wonderful storytelling. I saw that you said somewhere that you don't like poetry, well I think it's more than fair that you use poetic prose and quite deftly too.

My only question is: is this all you plan to do with this or do you plan on expanding this story further? You don't have to, it works perfectly on its own. Just wondering is all. Greedy for more I guess.
Angelica Comment by: Angelica - 2007-04-17 05:01
Add to Readers
      
hectic work
i think it can be interpreted in many ways. personally it is difficult for me to deal with that fact.
the imagary of death is not quite as sinister as i would write
it is more wise, subtle.
it creates feelings of disgust towards the things that are slowly killing us
kindof freaks me out and makes me want to drink water and nothing else!!!
1 2 Next

Sponsored Ads


Added to Library of:

By JDQuinn

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S