ok i think this poem needs a explantation. george was a
real close friend of mine that died last year on mothers'
day at the age of 15. the reason why i put this is, yeah
it is a little personal, but i am not fully over his death
and i am hoping to find closure somewhere(if not just crying).



Crying does not help
the fact that you are gone
it makes it worse, cause
then i start blaming myself
for not being there. i know
in my mind that you can
and will never come back
but my heart is telling me
that it is a dream. almost
a going away party
my heart aches thinking
of the fun and the jokes we
played. even after almost a
week i can?t seem to ecpet it.
even though we buried you
yesterday. you where my
friend, my borther, and you
will always be. you are in my
heart and mind even if i can?t
hug you or go riding. i feel
i cant cry any more even
though i know i should be
crying more then i did. i just
cant seem to do it. i think
becuase i see your face
and you shaking your head
at my telling me im a silly girl.
that i dont need t cry it isnt me.
thats why i wasnt in a dress cuase
i know that if you where still here
you would make fun of me and tell
me to be myself. so i was. to the most
extent i could be so people
wouldnt get scared. you will
always be in my heart and i know
that i will see you agian in a better
place. but i think this is going to take
me awhile to realize im not dreaming.
i guess it is hard to expecpt the death
of a much loved person. i love

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