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Comment by: chocca2 - 2007-04-23 12:18
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This is really good, I felt this one...I think most of us have been in darkness before but, we eventually find the light.
Thanks for sharing. |
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Comment by: sabihah - 2007-04-12 01:51
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| The dark can be intimidating hy but the positive side is that at the end of darkness theres always light, eventually...thanx for sharing |
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I agree that the ending could do with some improving, I am having a real problem with endings at the minute, hopefully it's a temporary thing!
Ron - I can imagine people reading my poems could think I'm some deeply depressed soul, actually I'm quite the opposite and most of my pieces are based on myself writing from the angle of people I know or have merely conjured up in my head. I will however own up to this piece being more about me, in fact it was about how to progress with my career / business and how the lack of a plan was causing it difficult to know which route to take. |
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| I have to wonder if maybe this poem is not to short for so much repetition? So many people seem to be beating themselves over the head with the same old mistakes. I guess maybe they just enjoy the pain. |
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| I like this, as far as it goes....but I think you could find a stronger ending. The idea behind it is sound. It's how to get out at the end that is always the hardest part I find. |
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