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The Sum of Small Fears
No mobile phone
One punch to the face
One swollen nose
Two broken teeth
Too much blood
Two hours in hospital
Three days off work
Two healthy roots
Two saveable teeth
One packet of painkillers
One unbroken nose
No more need to worry
Walking to work on Tuesday 10th April 2007, I was attacked with no warning or provocation. With the exception of a large dentist bill; all things considered, it could have gone a lot worse.
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To the point. Your poem carried the story, I think, and your explication at the end is not really necessary
...except, of course, to let me know the poem is not some kid's daydream but a happened thing. ...maybe 5 more words in the poem would make that point, too. |
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| I like the style of this poem! Good job in summing up a life event. |
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I've read a few poems that have taken the form of a list, and some of them have worked for me, although more of them have not. Needless to say, this is one of those that worked.
Fair play for being so pragmatic and philosophical about it. [Although if you change your mind and decide you fancy a bit of payback after all, then... well, I know a few people. With big sticks.] |
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| Aww mann i know you were in pain for a good few days. I like your optimistic attitude at the end instead of feeling like a victim.nice write. Sasha |
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| We need a far more effective means of removing the trash from society, be it muggers or just plain crazoids. |
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