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Comment by: stevyg - 2008-04-18 18:57
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| I was mentally stimulated. Good job Kim! |
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| There is powerful truth in those last four lines. I've learned that even when we break, we can be repaired--at greater cost than a doll for certain, but stronger for the pain that has caused us to grow and stretch past what we thought impossible. Very nicely done. Janet |
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Awesome write. I kind of agree with Charredquill on this. But I think you should create stanzas. That way the lines with the same ideas are together.
As I walk by a child on the street,
I notice her doll.
One arm is missing, no eyes
Are on its poor face.
But it's loved.
I begin to think of that
Tuesday night phone call.
I wondered with fear how
Can you come to a decision
Like this?
The minutes turn into hours
Through that plastic form
Of communication.
I wished I could jump
Through it and shake
You with this--
Dolls can be mended
At any cost.
People can't.
They break. |
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Comment by: - 2007-05-31 02:41
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| very nordic, the rhythm is skaldic :) |
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Comment by: Cherley - 2007-04-20 20:16
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| It's a deep emotional poem. Even though I'm not sure who is calling and what they are calling about. There are so many possibilities. |
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"The Fibro Hand"
After being diagnosed in late 2005, I started a search for information on Fibromyalgia. It was hard to find a lot out there. All I wanted was some straight talk and an inspiring point of view. I wrote "The Fibro Hand" as my antidote for this chronic disease.
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