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Nights Out
Rimy Red Bull vodka spills and soaks like whispers I drink from my crotch.
Shoulders brush and citrine eyes blush demure apple dimples - I follow her velveteen trail
with a saunter in vibrato 'til hot breath corals the nape of her neck tastes of dew and sweat.
Her hips, my lips caught in a tryst ' a dim lit hall with soft knocks and giggles, I wriggle her pants back up.
Outside, the streets are lined with meek cabbies who reek of stale chips and tall tales. At home, unconfined
we find the floor half- way through the door a trail of belts and socks leave bared treats to ruffle the sheets and
so long as moonlight illumes, morning may never to rise to greet these throbbing eyes and bid the night adieu.
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| filled with great imagees and lines, nice job well written. |
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Comment by: zepol - 2007-05-01 00:04
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| "a trail of belts and socks" nice been there.. I love this piece. |
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Comment by: Trucco - 2007-04-26 11:34
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| this poem is a feast to the senses. It also has some melancholy to it. Since I am a movie guy, I couldn't help but think of Ben Sanderson, the character that Nicholas Cage plays in "Leaving Las Vegas." Certainly, the character in your poem is much more optimistic about life. I also want to say how much I appreciate your comments on my stories. Thank you so much! Let's keep the writing going on until we meet with Glory :-) |
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Comment by: Juan2 - 2007-04-21 21:57
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Thanks all for the reads. Glad it is an enjoyable piece, one of the most fun writes I've had in a while.
Re: the cabbies line - patience of a saint, some of those guys, dealing with us drunkards...
Not sure about the end, myself. It is kinda cheeseball, but damn if I don't feel like that sometimes. I dunno, I may play with it a little tho. Definitely see where you're coming from John + Lucy. Thanks for the insight.
Thanks again for commenting, much appreciated.
Happy Writings. |
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For some reason, I thought this line was the best:
Outside, the streets are lined
with meek cabbies who
reek of stale chips and tall
tales.
So sensory, you could taste it.
I think the last line sounded a bit overly used...at least the word "adieu", i mean.
Nice poem.
john |
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