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tired of bullshit
I looked in the mirror
I looked at the figure that was me
I walk over to the door and close it and sighed
I leaned against it and slid down the door
And stared at the wall
I pulled a knife from my jacket pocket and stared
I threw the knife at the floor
Its time for me to stop
I shouldn't do this
People are disappointed in me
I looked back at the wall
And all the uncomfortable memories came back to me
I picked up the knife and stared once again
I brought it to my arm and began
In the middle of the slash along my arm
I looked up at the wall,
I got up and smeared a message
That read,
I know you don't love me and my time has run out,
I'm not gonna cry and I'm not gonna pout
I'm tired of this bullshit and happiness im left without
I fell to the floor and crawled in the bathtub
And slowly drew my last shaking breath
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This is pretty sad......but good job though. & one last thing.........SQUISHY!!!!! lol.
<<33 Amie Lynn |
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Comment by: awesome - 2007-04-30 12:31
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| Hey. Again, great job and I can totally understand. You write like I do sometimes, you write out of emotion, and are caught up in telling how you feel rather that putting it in a certain form. There's nothing wron with that. Like Grae said once, "who ever had a panic attack or a loud outburst in poetic form" and i toatally agree with him! And i also agree with him about the title of this. Very neat. |
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Comment by: awatson - 2007-04-23 13:43
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| you made some typo's bella so find them and fix them i am just leting you know just like the Informal Grae did thanks |
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Phew! You and Katelin (Awesome) are heavily into the knife imagery at the moment. I hope that you're not both thinking bad thoughts against yourselves.
A couple of typos here and some tense changes (as in line 3), but the writing is strong and poignant.
The title 'sad' is, in its way, almost too weak for the content and message. Tragic desperation and sadness all intermingle. The loss of a life is tragic. The potential gone. But, yes the sadness does last.
Keep on writing strong words, but perhaps offset emotions of a dark nature with positivity in another direction. Only my thoughts, you are your own person and important to us.
take care,
grae |
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