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Drozman17
Andrew Gibson
United States

Words: 145
Access: Public
Comments: 3

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Tired

Now I'm so tired of life's games
Don't want to deal with it anymore
I just wish I could make it simple
And throw away all the complications
Have it all laid out in front of me
And unravel the mysteries
What can I do when I'm exhausted so
I've run my course through this maze
I'm just tired
Just so damn tired
I want to rise above this reality
And make a place that I can call my own
Escape from this world so full of pain
Make it so I'll never hurt again
Take away all the frustrations and disappointments
Need to survive, if only for now
I want to see a friendly face
Feel the warmth of a loving touch
Stuck in this time so cold and bare
I have not, anymore love to share

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Comments  
JoeBlend Comment by: JoeBlend - 2008-04-30 16:37
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The lack of periods is a great way to approach this subject, you really get the feel that the poem/subject will never end; you almost feel like you want to stop and take a deep breath halfway through. I also like how each line by itself says something that's relative to the poem in a complete and solitary manner.
lospoemas Comment by: lospoemas - 2007-11-25 22:26
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So, I like the rhythm in this. Definitely flows well. And the rhymes feel genuine, and not contrived. As for critique, why'd you put the comma in the final line? I don't know that it needs a comma, and if you want a pause it might be good just to split it into two lines.
warondrugs Comment by: warondrugs - 2007-04-13 22:36
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Well done. I think this is a poem that shows feelings which a lot of people can relate to. It also creates emotion in the reader which makes them also wish for a sort of utopian world. Great job!
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By Drozman17

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