Only the first and the last SCENES of this play are presented here.

LOVE IN THE TIME OF SADDAM

The Characters:

Magda: A Dutch nurse, aged 28
Heinrich: A German photographer, aged 32
Steven: A British journalist, aged 30

Act 1 Scene 1

The curtain rises to reveal a bombed-out school set in Iraq. Rubble is scattered everywhere. Broken windowpanes and a cracked blackboard show the destructive effects of war. Broken furniture is piled up for firewood. Heinrich and Steven huddle around a fire, trying to stay warm. Magda is curled up on a mattress in the corner, asleep.

Steven gets up from the fire, and walks to a bag against the wall, reaches in and grabs a pack of cigarettes. He lights up.

STEVEN: Cig?

HEINRICH: Those things will kill you. Don't you know that?

STEVEN (looks around at the rubble): And a Betty won't? Give me a break.

He inhales deeply, lost in thought.

STEVEN: What's the time?

HEINRICH: Just after seven. Time for breakfast.

STEVEN: Should we wake Magda?

HEINRICH: She had a rough night, let her sleep. She was moaning in her sleep like she was having a nightmare. She woke me up at three this morning to ask if I thought we were going to make it.

STEVEN: So what did you say?

HEINRICH: I lied. I said everything was going to be OK.

Steven crushes his cigarette underfoot and sits down at his place at the fire.

STEVEN: It will be three weeks tomorrow, you know. Not a soul. Not a damn soul in three weeks. Just more of these goddamn Bouncing Betties.

HEINRICH: What do you suggest, we try and step around them? Have you seen what a Betty can do to you? Why do you think Magda can't sleep at night? She's a nurse, she's seen it all, man. No bloody way we getting out of here without some sort of helicopter airlift or something.

STEVEN: That or starvation. Fifteen tins of food left and hopefully it snows or rains or something, because we need water soon. Damn those Yanks. THEY better be the ones rescuing us, it's their damn fault we're in this mess to begin with.

HEINRICH: Give me Red Cross anytime. I don't want to be in some American Black Hawk as a Stinger missile is aimed at it.

STEVEN: Red Cross gets shot down too you know. I wrote about it in 1991 ' thirty seven went down, no survivors. All on the way to hospital at the time.

MAGDA: Don't you guys know how to serve a lady breakfast in bed?

Magda sits up on her mattress, stretches and yawns.

MAGDA: I'd like French toast, eggs over easy and a large orange juice, thank you.

HEINRICH (chuckling): Stevie boy here was just about to pop down to the shops, we've run out of milk you see.

STEVEN (grinning): Actually, I called room service. The Americans should be delivering soon.

He picks up a pebble and throws it at Heinrich, laughing. It hits him on the arm.

A thunderous explosion rips through the room and all three fall down flat.

The curtain falls.
__________________________________________________________

FINAL ACT FINAL SCENE

Heinrich and Magda are tied together, sitting on the floor. Steve is pacing up and down, distressed. He has a gun in his hand and he is menacingly cocking and uncocking it.

STEVEN: You see, I found out about you two. I heard the quiet whispers in the dark. I saw those little glances. I KNEW! I KNEW ALL ALONG! So if that's the way you want it, my dear precious Magda, that's the way you're going to get it.

HEINRICH: I never betrayed you, Steven. You were just confused. You shouldn't blame her for that. Just leave her out of it.

MAGDA: Enough of this bullshit. Steve, if you're going to do it, just DO it OK? I don't give a damn. We're finished here anyway. I can't take it anymore. No more! No more. No more goddamn rat meat. No more drinking my own goddamn piss. I'm done. But if you're going to be shooting me, be sure to shoot straight so you don't accidentally shoot your darling lover boy here, OK? You rotten asshole! I loved YOU, goddamn it.

Steven raises the gun and points it at Magda's head.

STEVEN: Don't give me that! You were playing both of us all along, just so you could get a little more food, a little more blanket, a little more warmth. You used us both!

HEINRICH: Don't you guys see what's happening here? It's this godforsaken place. It's making us go completely nuts. If we just got out of here, got some water, got some food, we could forget about all this craziness and go our separate ways.

STEVEN: You'd like that, wouldn't you Heinrich. At last! You would be rid of me. No more crazy fag trying to get it on with you, right? Wouldn't that just be bloody marvellous? But no one ever thinks about me, no one!

Steven points the gun and fires wildly at Magda and Heinrich. They squirm trying to avoid death, but Steven is a terrible shot and the bullets all miss. Instead the bullets break windows.

There is a series of enormous explosions. The roof collapses and the walls come crashing down.

As the dust settles, it is quiet. Three bodies lie under the rubble.

MAGDA: Are you alive?

HEINRICH: I think so. What in the hell happened? Air raid?

MAGDA: Maybe. Can you help me? I can't move my legs.

Heinrich struggles out of the rubble and pulls a massive concrete block off Magda's legs. He looks around for Steven and finds his body.

HEINRICH: Steve! Are you OK? STEVE!

MAGDA: Put your fingers on his neck and feel for a pulse. Do you feel anything?

HEINRICH: Maybe. I'm not sure.

Steven moves an arm and looks at Heinrich.

STEVEN (weakly): I'm really sorry Heinrich. I'm really so very, very sorry. I ate the last tin of condensed milk.

His head drops backwards.

HEINRICH: He's gone.

Magda struggles to her feet and looks out the window.

MAGDA: I don't believe it. He must have exploded a Betty with that crazy shooting. That set off all the others as well. They're all gone.

HEINRICH: We're free. We can get the hell out of here. It will be three days to Baghdad. If we can avoid being seen, we can get to the embassy. And home.

MAGDA: If he wasn't so insanely jealous'¦

HEINRICH: Ironic, isn't it?

The curtain falls.

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