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Purple Haze
A fog has been building,
on my horizon.
A foreboding purple haze,
with a glow of impending bleakness.
Smiling often and chuckles felt deep,
tends to keep it at bay.
And comforting halos,
circle of good mates,
shield off its misty arms.
But it watches,
waiting for a weak moment,
its persistence...
my constant shadow.
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Comment by: DavidHe Online- 2008-04-04 18:13
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| Great! I like the poem very much, especially the last sentence, for it is very leading: my constant shadow |
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Dear Ani,
I absolutely LOVE this poem.
It reminds me of the feeling I got from King's THE FOG a bit.
I have only one ultra-tiny suggestion: to please correct 'persistance' to 'persistence.'
A haunting, evocative piece--in so few words.
Wow.
James |
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"Wating for a weak moment,
its persistance...
my constant shadow." I understood this until you mentioned the shadow. Maybe I'm bad with poems, but I think a lot of poems are written too vaguely, and this is one of them for me (I'm talking explicitly about the ending. I think the beginning is pretty good). |
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| Hmmmm, Sounds like you are in a funk, or at least wrote it while you were in one. I can feel the omnipresense of the constant shadow. I have one sometimes, too. Great work |
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