I have never really been a girly girl. I have never been 'into' hair dressers. But China has changed all of that for me. I am a convert and I am ready to spread the word. If you have a list of things to do before you die, a hair washing experience in a Chinese hair salon should definitely be added to the top your list.

The first time you are a party to this, it is like the first time you receive cunnilingus; you feel marginally violated, and then you give in to the exhilarating new sensation and let it carry you away to happy land. I know, I know, I can feel your cynicism transcending time and space and oozing out of my keyboard as I type. 'How could a trip to the hair dressers be comparable to an orgasm?'� Well let me take you on a little journey.

You are nervous, you have heard rumours about how good it is, but you have never actually done it. You were going to wait. Wait until you understood the language, but eventually, you are overcome with curiosity and you give into temptation. You see a salon and even though you are a little apprehensive you decide to take a chance and dive in head first.

In broken Chinese and elaborate hand gestures you explain that you don't want a hair cut, just a wash. It is too late to turn back, you have committed yourself now. A funky young hair dresser leads you to the back room. You see 6 beds lined up like sacrificial alters. "What is going on?" You ask yourself. You are instructed to lie down on your back on one of these beds. The beds look sort of like a massage table except at one end there is a sink, with a head rest protruding for you to place your head. You lay down and your assigned hair washing boy starts to work on you. You think to yourself 'Lying down to get you hair washed, why don't we have this back home? Why, in Australian hair dressers, do you have to contort yourself and uncomfortably lean back while the lip of the sink distorts your spinal column? Hair washing beds are the way of the future.'�

First he gently tucks a towel into your collar and then lays another across your chest. Then the good stuff starts. He turns on the tap, and as he begins to moisten your hair a wave of anticipation rushes through your body. With the first strokes of his adept hands, your fears begin to melt away.

Round 1: The foreplay- The boy begins to massage the shampoo into your hair with strong but gentle strokes. He then starts with the scalp scratching. You didn't notice his unusually long fingernails as you walked in, but now you are impressed by his feminine claws. He knows just where to scratch to send tingles down your spine. He washes out the shampoo and the disappointment starts to set in. You say a silent prayer 'Oh please don't let it be over'�. Almost immediately your prayers are answered. Your senses are heightened and you hear the sound of a lubricant being squeezed into the palm of his hand, and he goes in for the second shampoo.

Round 2: The cleansing- He begins to massage your skull. You have never felt a sensation like this before. As he flicks snaps and taps, waves of relaxation pulsate through your body. It is about this time that you start to develop a girlish crush on this pimply, scrawny runt of a potentially gay hair dresser whose hands are cradling your head with the upmost tenderness. He washes out your second round of shampoo and begins on the conditioner. He repeats the massaging process and you continue to reel at the feel of his nimble fingers dancing around your cranium. But with the condition comes a little extra, he starts to move his hands further south. He slides his hands that have been lubricated with conditioner underneath the back your shirt and manipulates away any tension from your shoulders. Then he begins to work out the pressure from your neck, rubbing and caressing the sore spots until they disappear. You never could have imagined that a hair wash could feel this good. He rinses your conditioner out and gently yet firmly wraps your hair in a towel. At this point you think you are done.

But wait there's more!

Round 3: The Massage- He moves around the bed and takes you by the hand. He starts to work his way up and down your arm rubbing and stroking. Finding you where you hold your tension and releasing it. After surrendering your arms to his mercy he takes you by the hand and flops it around like a rag doll. Next he squeezes your fingers and firmly runs his thumbs across your palms. He applies pressure to your wrist and at the same time tickles your palm with his fingernails. He finishes his work on your hands by interlocking your fingers with his and using a wonderful stroking technique to release the tension.

Round 4: The warm down- Because you literally don't speak the same language he mimes for you to roll over onto your stomach and then begins to pummel away at your back. He moves his vibrating hands down to your lower back and slowly makes his way back up to your shoulders. At this stage you are thinking to yourself, 'I never want to wash my own hair again. I wonder if he will want to be my personal hair washer.'� He finishes his rub down and then motions for you to roll onto your back again. Surely it must be over.

Round 5: Violation and exhilaration- Then the unexpected comes. You are left lying untouched on your back for a few minutes while he sits behind you doing something mysterious, you don't know exactly what it is, but after the washing experience it is sure to be good. He gently approaches your ear and inserts something and starts twisting. Oh my god, what is he doing! You flinch a little and then relax into it. It feels so dangerous, yet if feels so good. What ever it is he is doing, you hope he keeps doing it. You start to wonder if there is a g-spot in your ear that you didn't know about. But what exactly is he doing?

In those few minutes of stillness before he penetratred your ear canal, he takes a cotton bud and uses his long fingernails to pull the fluff away from the stick preparing it for insertion. Once ready he lightly swizzles the cotton bud in your ear. It seems to scratch a part of your body that you didn't know itched. It is the ultimate trust exercise. The welfare of your eardrum lies in the capable hands of this washer boy. When you finally give in and have faith in his ear cleaning techniques you feel almost ready to explode. This is the first time that you have experienced an eargasm- or even thought that such a thing might exist- and you wonder if it would be inappropriate to start purring. After he has finished with the cotton bud, he then runs his fingers around the rivets of your ear and finishes by pushing the tragus and blocking your ears. It takes all of your willpower to suppress your moans of ecstasy. You almost wish he would lie down on the hair washing bed and spoon you for a few minutes.

Round 6: Post wash bliss- Finally the wash is over and you cannot feel more satisfied. He sits you upright and with a post coital dopiness you are dreamily led back into the salon so he can dry your hair. Your presence in the hair salon has aroused the curiosity of both the patrons and the staff. As your hair is being dried, the other hairdressers come over to feel your foreign hair and declare how beautiful you are. These boys know just what a girl needs to hear. Can life get any better than this?

You pay the 10 yuan and do a quick conversion back to Australian dollars. It is about $1.50. You float out of the salon and your hair bounces around like you are on a shampoo commercial, you feel lighter and lovlier than you did an hour before.

It was after my first hair wash that I declared that for the rest of my stay in China it wouldn't be necessary to wash my own hair again. Twice a week, I would venture down to the salon and emerge feeling like a princess. During the hair wash experience, I felt a little naughty. If only those boys knew what I was thinking.

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