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spDulong
Mr. Mischief
United States, fl., st. augustine

Words: 108
Access: Public
Comments: 2

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summersalt

Somersault_
Somewhere summer salt
sounds superstitious.
Left shoulder or was it Right?
Tongue twisted
here her kiss of resubmission,
Place myself booth confession
both confections; sweet.
Hear her orgasm,
am I that open? Are you?
I feel- I mean, I see
Here her hair_I pull,
controlling?
' I'm so under command
I'm so in demand
I'm sewing demons?
Rhyme? Fuck! Reason'¦
Here I pause-
To be continued..
Too be within you..
My hand's strength,
my virtue of patience
My patient
I will not doctor words..
Here with her- here I splurge,
hear her say that word,
I love that word


.mOa.strewnbrained(t/m)

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Comments  
intrigue Comment by: intrigue - 2007-08-04 11:58
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I really like your style of writing. IT holds good momentum that makes me what to read more. Nice job it clicks well together'
champagne Comment by: champagne - 2007-04-21 19:33
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This is a really fun piece! I think you spoil the word play by hinting in the title that you're going to.

Otherwise, I'd check a couple of line breaks. For instance, I think confession would be used to better effect if you broke L5 right afterward, placing "both confections: sweet." on its own line.

Good stuff.
1

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By spDulong

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