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Hardcore Zen
Matt Kernodle
United States, NC, Haw River

Words: 1972
Access: Public
Comments: 0

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Collection Of Short Stories And Poems

Because I'm too cheap to upgrade my services here at EditRed.com I've Compiled an Archive of my shorter pieces

Enjoy

And please, when you comment, dont send a general comment about the collection, comment on the stories/poems individually

Thanks,
Matt



Late Night Anarchist Poetry


staring at the computer screen the words don't meet my eyes

"Lies..."

file gone, must've been erased I think

"spies..."

grab the remote, switch the monitor to cable TV

'Channel surf'

nothing on but neo-nazi messages wrapped up to look like game shows

"but my nose knows what it knows"

i can smell a pile of bullshit from at least a quarter mile away

"he smells more than most"

all the way from his cushy job in DC

"he smells like a landfill to me"

not afraid to be a moralist backed bigot with a serious lack of morals

"the bastard"

he stands erect on his soapbox, preaching oh-so-loud to the choir, men in the back scream

"liar, liar, liar"

telling us what we should and should not do in the comfort of our own homes, putting a price on the land of the free

"not much of a war hero to me"

since when do wars breed heroes anyway? revolutions perhaps, they breed the brave, they free'd the slave

"i wont learn to 'behave'"

wars make killers, addicts to pain, brainwashed masses all too glad to fill their pockets with assets

"stained in oil and blood"

and when will they see justice?

"it will come in a flood"

and the gates will come crashing down all around him as he tries to flee the scene

"we will all be held accountable"

and what will come of the huddled masses you and your men have only sought to demean?

"is it not fair to have a dream?"



A Great Depression
Today I stood in a line for my money when only a week ago I was working a factory job. �It�s going to be a secure job,� my father had told me. He beat away my dreams day by day, telling me my crazy ambitions would never follow through, telling me my dreams would let me down in the end.
�If you get a job at the factory it will be a job you�ll have forever, people will always have yards and they will always need to be mowed.� He assured me the little push mower factory would never go under.
�Most people can�t afford to buy our mowers anymore, and we just can�t afford to pay you to make them for those who can. It�s just too small of a market.� They said things would get better but so far, from what I�ve heard on my neighbor�s radio things are only getting much worse. They keep saying this is a serious depression and millions are out of work and more and more businesses are failing everyday. But somehow the news people stay hopeful in the face of our national adversity. Perheps it is because they aren't here; they don't see what I see every day. All of my surroundings are failing; all of the five companies I tried to get a job with in the last week were failing and going under.
And so it is bare despairation that has lead my wife to the bread lines and myself to seek unemployment. Gradually I feel my own great depression coming down around me.





Painted Faces
Painted is her majesty,
Her beauty is what she hides,
She is scared of the world,
And in turn they're scared of her lies,
That is what she holds dear,
And it is this which in turn makes them fear,
Rejection is her only defense,
Yet it is also they're most piercing weapon,
Inside she holds radiance,
Show the world your heart, Sandra,
I don't see how they could reject you then,
But keep your individuality,
You don't have to be one of them,
Complacency is not a trait to value,
Please show us your heart,
Or this paint will poison your skin,
Please don't die like that, Sandra,
Ugly and alone,
Your heart is all you have to give us,
We will build it up from stone,
Beauty and friendship will be yours to behold,
You won't have to be charming,
You don't have to be bold,
You're so hidden away, Sandra,
Its like you have your own town,
Fall into my arms, Sandra,
I won't let you drown.





Desire
"How would i know where to go without you to lead me there?"

He motions to his love with teal eyes,
to suggest the beauty in her he saw there.

"Where would i be if it wasn't for you?
If i stood alone in the rain...
How could i?
I would die without you

I feel you inside me,
I draw you in deep,
you envelop my heart,
you make it weep,
you caress my soul,
You live inside me,
you've been there so long...

When I look into your eyes,
i know i belong...
I need your smile,
i need to hear you sing,
Please walk with me now,
join us two together...

Please accept this ring"





Of Lords And Lovers
I met Maria when I was sold into service at the Mason house controlled by her father, George Mason. I was only five and as a low class child it was all I could dream of, to live with a powerful family, all my needs taken care of. Maria and I played together for five years, until I was of working age. Those were the best years of my short life. We played like brother and sister oblivious to our vast differences in class, but we both knew that someday it would come to an end.

I am nineteen now and all of my life that I can comfortably remember has been here, in the Mason house. That is what I am thinking as I exit the house's back door and walk over to Master George.

'Master, I have heard you seek my presence.'

'Yes my son, you see my daughter is coming of age and she may be leaving my house soon. If so I will no longer be able to protect her as I have all these years. So I figure she will need a bodyguard. You are the most trusted of my servants, you are the closest thing I have to a son, so I think it is only fitting that I offer this job of such great importance to you.'

I look to Maria who is sunbathing by the pool, over the years my life has been consumed by service to the Mason house and I have had little time to foster a relationship with the lovely Maria. Perhaps it is for the better. I could never have expected to be worthy of her friendship, much less anything more. I am a mere servant and she is the child of my Master. Even if I hadn't been born a poor child, even if I had been born her equal, I still wouldn't even be close to being in her league. Over the years, since we had played innocently as equals, I have grown into an awkward young man and she a goddess of beauty. Even now her nearly eighteen year old body calls out to me, her small two piece bikini beckoning my eyes closer. No, I cannot think of her like that. I have no right to.

I look to Master George, not directly into his eyes, just at his face. 'Me sir? I would be quite glad to, but how am I worthy of safeguarding your daughter's life?'

Master laughs at my modest reply. 'Is it not enough that I think you're worthy?'

'Yes'r, of course it is.' I almost ask 'but why me?' but I know better than to question my Masters judgment.

'Then go over to her, tell her the good news.'

Bashfully I walk over to Maria. Its not that we don't ever talk or spend any time together because we do. They are fleeting moments indeed, but they exist all the same. It would be most disrespectful if I didn't greet her. After all, we live in the same house. If I were not to see her it would mean I was avoiding her, which would show disrespect to her presence. So why was I afraid? Was it that with this promotion I would more than just a servant? Was it that I was about to be much closer to power than most of the servant class could ever dream to be? Or was it that I had been given the responsibility of protecting the sacred flower of the Mason house?

I sit down beside her trying my best not to stare at her gorgeously tanned figure.

'Hello, Lady Maria.'

'Hi Charles.' I am surprised that she still remembers my name.

'I've got some good news...'

'Oh yes and so do I, Father is going to allow me a boyfriend soon!' Her face lit up with the words in that way only hers could.

I laugh nervously. 'I didn't hear about that, but Master says I am to be your bodyguard.'

'Really? I've always wanted someone to spend time with. Of course, I know that a bodyguard isn't the same thing as a best friend but it's nice to have someone to talk to all the same.'

I start to feel a little warm.

'Charles, why are you blushing?'

I turn away from her, covering my face in embarrassment. I've blown it already.

'I didn't know I was.' I say from behind my hand.

'Well, I'm sorry.' Maria sounds almost as bashful as I feel. But what was she sorry for? If anyone should be sorry it was I. Now I felt even worse. I had done another thing you never do, never make someone above you feel bad, and the last thing I wanted to do was make Maria feel bad.

'No, you know you don't have a thing to be sorry for, and I must apologize for making you feel as if you do.'

'Oh you can't be so formal if we're going to be friends, how would I ever be able to talk to you?'

Formality? I really had meant all the things I had said, I saw little formality in them, but I was relieved, it meant she wasn't angry. It meant she wanted to be my friend.

'So, you want to talk. Well, Master says you might be leaving soon, is that true?'

'Yes, as soon as I turn eighteen. There's a whole world out there that I've never seen. I guess you don't understand, you still get to be a part of the world outside of this house.' The dreamy look of freedom left her eyes and was replaced by a look of bitter sadness. I had forgotten that she had never alone anywhere outside of the House. Master was very protective of her, but then again, I would be too, if she were mine. It was quite rare that he took her out of the house and when he did, they were always accompanied by a legion of armed guards. Even I, a lowly servant, who was only allowed hours a day to go where I wanted, had more freedom than she.

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