 |
 |
 |
| |
No More Hope
Goodbye forever
Goodbye whenever
The life I lead is no more
My heart is so sore
I just wanna drop dead on the floor
And step through the door
Of the after life
I should stab myself with a knife
And let the blood flow from my veins
Before my mind goes insane
Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
|
|
Hm, well, I really can't find it within myself to leave that last comment as the last comment. If you have something bad to say, please be more original next time, and maybe some constructive criticism instead of name-calling would be nice.
Anyway, about your poem - I think it's a really good thing to express your depression/anger/anxiety/fear etc. in a constructive way, which you're definitely doing. The only thing I would change about this one is maybe adding a couple more lines between the ones that rhyme so the rhythm of the piece is a little more natural. As far as the subjectmatter goes - we've all felt that way, whether we want to admit it or not, and better to write about it and publish a book than to dwell in it and drive yourself insane. Short and to the point - keep writing. :) |
 |
Comment by: - 2007-11-23 20:27
|
|
Everyone below me and the pony tailed moron above, you're all triping retards. It was like Geoffery Chaucer on depressents, random rhyming, horrible prosed scheme, and come on, death? Yea, how old're you? 40? And still picking up teenagers with their own melignant retarded spells of suicide and outdone use of 'cutting' and 'eff my life'.
You suck. I hope to read more of how much you and others like you suck. |
|
|
| nice |
|
|
| wow this is deep, who ever this was written AFTER...must of affected you deeply. |
 |
Comment by: Kav - 2007-07-05 03:53
|
|
| A sad poem yet so powerful. You definitely have a way with words- nice work |
| 1 2 3 4 Next |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
