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hatchzel
Hazel Bernardo
United States, New York, New York

Words: 189
Access: Public
Comments: 9

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The Swing

Beside an Acacia tree


Little girl swings with glee
Higher, higher for eyes to see
Another place where she can be



Sitting on an old plank of wood


A shadowy figure stood
In front of the innocent one
"Silly swinging!", not to be done


Stole a little time to be a child


So sad to have an adult mind
No more dolls, no more tin drums
No laughing, no room for silly hums


Little girl cries at such sorrow


In her pillow, her face is burrowed
"I hate this life, I hate her"
Tells herself she can't go any further


Pots cleaned, floors to be mopped


A simple mistake equals a heavy slap
She touches her bruised cheeks
She is helpless and so weak


Beside an Acacia tree


Little girl swings with no glee
Higher, higher not to see
Another place where she can't be















Beside a maple tree


Woman swings with glee
An act which is silly
Higher, higher for her eyes to see
A place where she is now free





I glanced up the sky to count the clouds which look like rabbits, dinosaurs and dolphins and .............

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Comments  
skypoetone Comment by: skypoetone Online- 2007-05-22 10:17
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All of the previous with a little dash of brilliance too. :)
Alikzandria9395 Comment by: Alikzandria9395 - 2007-05-21 12:45
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This poem really touches on how the girl wants to be free from a life of abuse (or slavery if you will) and she can "see" freedom when she swings high, but the abuse 'blinds' her and she feels trapped...until she is grown. Then she can try and regain her youthful innocense. Great job on getting the readers to "crawl into the mind" of this child. :)
AngelWing Comment by: AngelWing - 2007-05-02 07:35
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This has got to be one of the best poems you've written(love your others as well).

Little girl swings with no glee
Higher, higher not to see
Another place where she can't be

Hmmm.... makes me smile. Wonderfully done!
Amanda
tjp1984 Comment by: tjp1984 - 2007-05-01 15:22
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The rhythm of the poem has the feel of swinging to it--nice touch. By switching to first person in the last line, are you identifying yourself as the girl (woman)?

And I hate to be the grammar police (because it can make it sound like that's all I care about, and it's not), but it seems like the line should be "Pots cleaned, floors to be mop[ped]"
mysticpoet729 Comment by: mysticpoet729 - 2007-04-26 20:44
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beautiful poem. is the little gil abused.
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By hatchzel

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