I'm Sorry I'm not Good Enough
----------------------------

I feel the moist tears fall from eyes
As she calls me a little bitch
Because I wont hear her lies

She tells me I don't care
But she should know that's not true
Why the hell else would I be here
I'm not here for me
I'm here for you

Very few things keep me sane in this chaotic life
My body's lying here while my mind is in the kitchen
Finding the sharpest knife
Pressing the blade deep into my skin

I push the thought to the back of my head
At times like this I remember that I have Alex
The love of my life
So I drop the knife
I never really had it in the first place
It was just in my mind
But when I'm with Alex I leave those bad thoughts behind

People don't label me
And they don't really know
Because I never let my true feelings show
Having a normal life is but a dream
Echoing in my head is a silent scream

Life is a gift, or so they say.
So why do I want mine to end today
The pain won't stop
It won't go away
But I know I can't
End my life this way

I have reasons to live
Although there are very few
But for those that I love
Just know that I cherish you

I have amazing friends
And the man of my dreams
I guess life isn't quite
As bad as it seems

I sit here on my bed cold and alone
Hoping that someone will call on the phone

I listen to the cursing
The crying, the screams
Knowing that it was all caused by me
I wish I were better
Than I could ever be
I try so hard, Can't you see
No matter how hard I try
I can never do anything
quite good enough for you

I listen to you scream
And I hear you yell
Waiting to go to a place called hell
It's where I belong according to you
I cover my head
I don't know what to do

I don't wanna yell
I don't wanna fight
How will you feel if I end it tonight
I have the power
I have the right
Yet so do you, Is that what you want too?
You've always said that'¦
You brought me in this world
& you can take me out.
I'm tired of this arguing
And hearing you shout

Just end my life
It's in your hands
Forget my dreams
And future plans

I have no right to be here
And you've made that clear
But if I go to hell, I'll see you there

I may not be perfect
But neither are you
You should give me a chance
To improve my stance
I stand in the world
Feeling alone
Alex is the only real love
I've ever known


I apologize for not being good enough
It's jsut too tough
I'm done livin' life this way
and I've had enough



I love you alex! & to all of my friends, you know who you are, I love you all too!
(& for those who don't know me, im not suicidal.....lol. just thought i'd make that clear)

By: <<33 Amie Lynn

4/26/07

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