writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
BrindleyHD
Mike Smith
United Kingdom

My Bookshop
Words: 801
Access: Public
Comments: 8

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




Ullswater Requiem

I Dies Irae The Anger of the Water

Here's where I stand. I read the lake each day.
Beyond our reach it changes endlessly.
Sometimes it's dark as ice. Sometimes it's broken glass,
sometimes like metal streaked where boats have passed,
sometimes with ripples regular as sound.
Sometimes it's like a sky: Sometimes a pit.
Sometimes it's white capped, rough.
Sometimes there's barely breeze enough
to drown the mirrored image of the trees.
It mirrors all moods, given time.
Today the water's still and black. Call it
sullen if you like. It cannot mind.

And there's a pebble beach that waves have cut,
driven by storms against the mountainside.



II Tuba Mirum The Bringing of the News

Whatever moves above it or below
disturbs the surface, writes its passage,
weight, speed, bulk, hull, body, keel and fin,
the changing pressure of the wind.
A drowning man will tell his tale
as clearly as a fishing heron can.
Today it's briefly mute. What lives below
is motionless. The wind is starved of breath.

Here three boys died a few yards from the shore,
where the wave cut platform tips sheer down
the steep slope to deeps that glaciers carved.
So cold those depths they strip you to the bone.
That shock of cold will take your breath away.
Only shallow water over stone's not cold.



III Recordare Memory

You remember once yourself slipping off
the narrow shelf of Ullswater.
You were no swimmer at all and had waded out like them
beyond the glimmer of sunlight on rocks below,
walking on a cliff edge in a mist,
and only when you felt the stones begin
to slip and shift knew you were on the lip
of some commencing underwater fall.

You had rowed singing over the water,
like fearlessVikings to the shingle beach,
bringing your gear: striped blazer, straw boater,
a camping stove for the picnic, scones,
a gramophone and old seventy eights.
You danced on stones before it drew you in.



IV Quid Sum Miser The Bereaved

Crossing a mountain stream once in bare feet
you could not keep yourself from crying out,
sliced by that scalpel cold, burned by its ice.

An avalanche of cold enfolded them.
Only an inch or two beneath it's cold
as graves. Stone cold where the sun can't penetrate.
Rivers of cold run deep along the lake.

Perhaps it helps to have a faith, belief;
something to make sense of grief, to bring relief
from pain: insubstantial as breath.

We are taken from each other every way.
by fire and water, earth or air, broken
by illness, old age, accident of place
or time, seemingly without rhyme or reason.



V Lacrimosa Weeping

I did not witness this. I saw the lake.
Ripples run towards me every day.
I cannot read them all. The steamer makes
eight beats per second by my clock, no more.
Yet I must speak or what's the watching for?
My words must face you square and eye to eye.
We are each other's strangers of goodwill.
Tears bind us; the sky; mountains, and fire.

Tomorrow they'll be singing from their boats once more
and paddling in the shallows by the shore.
Their waves will reach me soon. Make no mistake
who knows the depth and coldness of a lake.
The shoreline trees cast shadows where we tread.
The living must keep vigil for the dead.




VI Lux Aeternum A Celebration

The sky's sheet ice, the blood of sunset drained away.
Clouds are gathered in like nets at the horizon.
Rose petals of last light are floating in
an awkward angle of the bay. Crows are
litter whirled in a corner of the air.
The steamer's wake has met itself returning.
Some say this is the old day's dying, as if
no dawn will break; but not me. I see a star.

This moment holds the world still in my eye.
A perception of the vastness of planets,
of the unimaginable distances
of space, in the turning of the day
that hemispherical shadow of
yesterday and tomorrow coming to pass.



VII Libera Me A Prayer

Let me drop a pebble to that surface
and watch its ripples run out perfect
and see a fish rising from the depths,
a pebble cast by water into sky,
and those two rings meeting, interfering,
intermingling, intersecting but still perfect,
each still unbroken in its way:
a criss-cross message of place and time.

Believe. We shall not be alone whatever
faith we hold or understanding reach.
Hold to it that the circles of our lives
shall in their intersectings bring us peace:
that we shall write ourselves upon the waters
and learn to speak the languages of waves.

Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]


My Bookshop

Comments  
lancslass Comment by: lancslass - 2008-02-21 10:16
Add to Readers
      
Hi Mike, back to read this again today. It catches me as it did the first time, oh, so sad, quiet, deep, and utterly beautiful.
niceandy Comment by: niceandy - 2007-09-16 06:42
Add to Readers
      
Really fine piece. I'm having to read it again and again to fully comprehend it, but I do need to say that what YOU can't do with a simile simply can't be done! I've been reading a lot of James Fenton recently and your work with form is on apr with his. I also think that you strike a skillful balance between the intertext and your own meanings, Don Patterson tries to do that and fails! And I'm a sucker for semicolons in poetry. Top notch this, but I intend to come back to it to fully appreciate it. Do you think it is the job of poets to comment on things?
Sophia Comment by: Sophia - 2007-09-10 05:49
Add to Readers
      
Really beautiful writing, everything flows so perfectly, with subtle rhyming carefully chosen. There are too many great lines here to pick out, and this will stand a good many readings before I'm sure I've picked up everything. I agree with RoadPoet that it reads like classic literature.
InHizImage Comment by: InHizImage - 2007-05-01 13:24
Add to Readers
      
(I'm back)

Lacrymosa Weeping:
"Their waves will reach me soon. Make no mistake
who knows the depth and coldness of a lake." ~ should be "Their waves will reach me soon, make no mistake. Who knows the depth and coldness of a lake?"

"We are each other's strangers of goodwill" ~ great line!

Lux Aeternum A Celebration:
"litter whirled" ~ litter-whirled
I liked the reflection in the last stanza. When we stop and ponder the vastness of this universe it can be quite a moment.

Libera Me A Prayer:
I love the juxtapostion of the pebble being thrown into the water and fish being "thrown out of the water" in the first stanza. That was creative!
"Hold to it that the circles of our lives
shall in their intersectings bring us peace:" ~ "Hold to it that the circles of our lives shall, in their intersectings, bring us peace:"

Another very strong piece. This was my favorite of them all. There is a lot said in only 2 stanzas that causes the reader to take in such a great revelation: "the circles of our lives shall, in their intersectings, bring us peace." We can only find peace with the help of others in our lives.

Thanks for sharing these. They'll stay on my bookshelf.
Yvy
InHizImage Comment by: InHizImage - 2007-04-30 16:45
Add to Readers
      
Okay, first of all, I have waited to comment on these pieces until I've grasped all that is here, and it's a lot. So, I've been taking my time reading them, and rereading them, and will comment on them over the next couple days.

On the first one, "Dies Irae The Anger of the Water", I think the punctuation needs to be looked at. Your use of commas or periods in places where ; would work better caught my eye.

"Sometimes thereā??s barely breeze enough
to drown the mirrored image of the trees." I love this line. Excellent imagery and revealing of the setting without just telling.

"Tuba Mirum The Bringing of the News"- I liked the foreshadowing of the drowing man before revealing the death of the three boys. Also, the description of the lake before the "news" was a good call. You've painted a good atmosphere where the reader can mourn the loss.

"Recordare Memory"- "and only when you felt the stones begin
to slip and shift knew you were on the lip" - I think this would read easier if you put commas after "and" and "shift" (JMO)
This one had great imagery and told a story that many could relate to. Again, the word use is superb and flow, good.

"Quid Sum Miser The Bereaved" - In the last stanza, use a : after "way"
I thought this one used the word "cold" too often and the use of the cliche "stone cold" weakened it.

I, like RoadPoet, have been having a hard time getting my head around the strength of your writing. I'm taking my time and will comment on the others over the next couple of days.

Thanks for sharing,
Yvy
1 2 Next

Sponsored Ads


Added to Library of:

By BrindleyHD

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S