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flashbackbingo
Kadie T.
United States, Michigan

Words: 653
Access: Public
Comments: 3

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Crayon on the Carpet

'Wake up, you lazy fool! Are you getting up now?' The voice of a grandmotherly woman echoes through my head. I roll over and stare at the ceiling, the sunlight creating bars of light above me through the blinds. A child laughs distantly as I stare at the dancing light on the ceiling, hoping it will be a warm day.
'Get out of bed this instant!' the elderly woman calls as I lay motionless. 'You need to eat, you look too thin!'
I sigh heavily at the beginning of another day and toss away the sheets. The air in the room is cold. 'Open the blinds, it's so beautiful today,' a now younger woman speaks gently. 'I was already outside this morning, and the sunrise was absolutely beautiful. I'm so sad you missed it, James.'
I pull the blinds wide open and stare into the blue sky. She was right: it is a beautiful day; the first warm day of the season.
'The trees are starting to bud already,' a young girl states. 'It's supposed to be even warmer by the end of the week.'
'Is that right?' I mumble quietly.
'Will you get downstairs and eat something?' I squint at the sound. She insists on being loud. I shake my head and move downstairs to shut her up. I grab an old donut and a glass of milk. She grunts quietly in disapproval. I look at the refrigerator filled with a child's drawings. 'Which one is your favorite?' A young boy asks me. I observe them all for a moment and point to one in the center.
'That one,' I say. He giggles loudly.
'That's the one I drew of you!' He states loudly.
'I know it is,' I say to him. 'It looks just like me.' He giggles again.
'Come outside with me, James,' the young woman says to me. 'It's so beautiful today. Sit out on the porch with me.' I walk outside and take a seat at the table.
The instant heat of the sun felt comforting. She talks to me about flowers, spring, and other feminine things. I act interested. She likes it when I do.
'Come play inside with me, James!' The little boy breaks through with a loud, comical tone. 'I want to draw another picture for you!'
I walk through the door and I hear a giggle coming from the living room. He plays hide and seek but I never find him.
'I can't reach the paper and I can't find my crayons James. Can you reach them for me?' he asks innocently. I reach for the paper. I find the crayons. I sit on the floor like a child would do.
'Don't get crayon on the carpet!' A voice calls from the kitchen.
A pink bird with a blue beak and an orange tree in the background. This is what he draws for me. I put it up on the refrigerator with his other drawings and he giggles happily.
'What did he draw for you this time?' An immediate voice from behind me catches my attention. I turn to see my sister standing there, smiling like always. She walks up to the refrigerator and observes it.
'A pink bird with a blue beak. Very original.' She looks at me and smiles brightly. I smile back.
'Off to work I go,' she says with a sigh, and I nod slightly.
'Did you take your medicine?' she asks.
I shake my head.
She leans in, the smile still spread across her face.
'Don't.' she says. 'Have fun before the world stops you.'
'Come on James, I want to draw another picture for you, okay?' The little boy chimes in once more.
'I have to go,' I say to her. 'He wants to draw another picture.'
'Okay,' she says. 'Try not to get crayon on the carpet.'

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Comments  
Heath Comment by: Heath - 2007-07-20 20:19
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This one left me wanting more. Tell me about James! Just a paragraph! Just a sentence!

No, don't, please.

You ended just the right way. I want to know more, but there may not be any more. At least, not more to the story. It is a moment of hope flavored with questions about his medication and the rest of his day, but I can live with not knowing, because for a moment, for James' moment, he is drawing on the floor with a little boy. There are questions, but they are not nearly as important as the moment. Thank for waking James up and letting him draw.
braintrashed Comment by: braintrashed - 2007-06-04 18:21
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I generally do not have the attention span for short stories, to be unabashadedly honest, so congratulations on keeping my attention the entire way through. I enjoyed it- couldn't offer critique- I am NOT versed in short-stories, nor do I EVER attempt them (I haven't the talent), but I suppose enjoying it at all, is something in itself, coming from someone who is far more inclined toward poetry.
Obscaena Comment by: Obscaena - 2007-04-29 17:18
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Confusing at who's speaking most of the time, but ultimately pretty good. I would like to see a bit more description, though.
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