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°Don't believe in poetry°
°°°°° Don't Believe in Poetry °°°°°
I don't believe in poetry
In fact, I've never even heard of it
There are words which disguise themselves
As objects, and objects which come
tumbling out of words,
Words patterns can splatter
out of the mouth
of a drunken earnest
But I have faith in you.
Someone shoved a poem in my mouth once
and I just ignored it for ages
gnawed on it for phrases
poured it on my pages
read it in my gauges
But I feel you as you are.
Once you have a poem
stuck between your teeth
it can hit you like a hoof kick
reach and grab your tooth pick
before it changes your belief
an ocean broken reef
You and I, we are grounds for poetry.
________________________________© aromatic january 2007
Jan. 17th, 2007 | 11:15 am
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I liked the way you easily poured out the things and yet manaed to put some catchy lines. The poem on the whole was superb but the excellency in the last para was unmatchable.
great work!! :) |
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| i rather like the first stanza. words disguising themselves as objects and objects tumbling out of words... it is a concept separated from the way we are taught to "see" language by educational standards. very good. |
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Yes! Like this!
I agree with the others second stanza is my favourite. Interesting, cool and funny. Love the last line too.
Cheers |
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Not too bad. I thought that it flowed very well. The rhyming scheme is definitely weird, but I think it works in this poem. I WOULD NOT suggest using this rhyming patter anywhere else, because it's different in each stanza.
If I had to say one stanza was the weakest, I would point to the first. I remember the last two distinctly because they move well. The first one sets up, and we enter weird territory when you say "in fact I've never heard of it". I would suggest starting with stanza two and mixing the parts of stanza one throughout the poem, or even moving stanza one as a whole somewhere else. I think the biggest problem with S1, though, is that it describes poetry while the rest of the poem is a story.
Hope I helped. |
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This one is fantastic. I really like the rhyme scheme that you have employed here. The imagery is great. Like Kendall20, I really love the beginning of the second stanza.
There is absolutely nothing that I would change about this one. Great job and thanks for sharing. |
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