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rgreay
Ross Reay
United States, California, Los Angeles

Words: 134
Access: Public
Comments: 8

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She called

The phone rang late
waking a quite December night.
The call expected yet dreaded,
'Help, I need you tonight.'

I have to go,
there really is no resisting-
her summons.
The pull of an old flame,
begging for air.

So I go,
haste pushing the momentum towards my past
remembered through sleep-crust eyes.
The traffic, the candy-cane colors/headlights and break lights
blur around me.
My truck moves, its volition its own,
a remembered route.

There, under moth-wing shadows
of an old porch light,
she stands. . . so stoic,
in her washed out aquamarine coat.
Her coffee colored stockings,
so carefully wrestled on,
drooping at her ankles.
The black ribbons in her shoes,
worn bare from tongue-clenched tying.
Her right hand,
Napoleon-tucked in her coat.
Her left hand,
ring-less...clenching...
at the site of me.

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Comments  
Travis Jhue Comment by: Travis Jhue Online- 2008-01-26 18:21
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Good stuff man. Hope too see more.
Jentina Comment by: Jentina - 2007-10-31 15:50
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I really enjoyed the line 'the candy-cane colors/headlights and break lights'. Very descriptive.
rupertdepaula Comment by: rupertdepaula - 2007-05-02 14:14
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Hey buddy, this is excellent. Very descriptive, with some great imagery. The third stanza, in particular, I loved.

'So I go,
haste pushing the momentum towards my past'

was my fav line - it really struck a cord. This a very 'human' piece that describes a moment in real life that many will be able to associate with.
Great write.
musicalchairs Comment by: musicalchairs - 2007-05-02 04:40
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I liked this. I think perhaps you could make it a little longer, and space out some of the hyphenated words from each other. Not that I'm advocating padding. Definitely not.
MicahWachovec Comment by: MicahWachovec - 2007-05-01 22:44
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'Waking a quite December night' is the best line. It's an epic line. The fact that the woman is married is perfectly put, it was placed such that it couldn't be ignored - and if great poetry is metaphor for the soul then placing this meaning as you did here is perfect. There's no forgetting that she's married - there's no capable resistence either. It makes me think that sometimes less can be more. It is here. Along with clean and clear narration. It's great.
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By rgreay

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