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kylalynn
Kyla Ward
United States, Missouri, St. Joseph

Words: 78
Access: Public
Comments: 5

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The Sandman (Second Draft)

Time switches back on itself, folding over

while you meet people you once knew

or didn't know--

his eyes flash like another's; her walk,

the cadence not her own.

Waking up again in the same bed

on the same sheets you've slept in before,

feet hit carpet,

shuffle.

Fingers rub at remnants

of sleep

of wake

or sands brought by the sandman

and that week at the beach

and that time

the boy

kicked sand into your eyes.


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Comments  
Lichtentunes Comment by: Lichtentunes - 2007-08-23 04:24
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It was fun to read. I like your choices of words. It seemed vague until the last line. Then I wondered about the whole thing. Who is talking? Is it you? Why did the boy... anyway it's funny to provoke your audience at the end of a poem that way.
TequilaTwilight Comment by: TequilaTwilight - 2007-08-21 04:33
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i feel like i'm missing a little bit of the meaning to this poem BUT i actually like that i am as it mens i will read it again and again which works better for me (i enjoy poetry more if i have to re-read to get it, gives a more satisfying feeling in the end!)

This is the first poem of yours that i have read and so far i am becoming a fan! keep going!
waxseal Comment by: waxseal - 2007-06-13 13:10
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I liked this quite a bit - it was very simple and elegant. Well done.
tcbswan Comment by: tcbswan Online- 2007-05-25 00:48
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i didn't read the first version so i can't comment on this--but i found it very interesting, a series of images connected by one theme or idea, made me think of how similar the flow is to how the mind remembers things, in fragments seemingly unrelated.nice write. thanks for posting!
aromatic Comment by: aromatic - 2007-05-03 23:35
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I like it. As a first draft, I will just comment on "big picture" aspects. It reminds me of a David Lynch movie, ie not sure what has happenned but it seems serious and eventful. Very intrigued by the transposition of the sand kicked in face image from the old Charles Atlas body building adverts.
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By kylalynn

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