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| I like it! I am guessing that it is about a man or women for that matter, who comes home from work and jjust wants to relax on the couch and not do anything. Vivid imagery. Good! |
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very good piece with lush imagery that flows well.
the style really adds to the work and the tone is simple but effective.
very bizarre style and imagery really space this out from the usual flow of poetry out there.
I enjoyed it.
well done. |
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| I like this. You have a lot of good imagery and make the simple act of relaxing in front of the tv after a hard day's work seem very inviting. As the writing progresses however it seems to get more lyrical--which is good, mostly--but it got a little hard to figure out where it was ending; I had to read the last stanza twice. But it's not a big problem at all, because I really enjoyed it. Good stuff. |
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This verse would be better said aloud in front of a group of people to see the reaction of the words your expressing and give the piece that much more...
Glen Yumang Manese |
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Comment by: dkm - 2007-11-05 04:59
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| Thanks for the comments! |
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