[Back to top]
|
|
|
|
Powerful and concise. It´s good to deal with taboo subjects
such as this one. I also recently wrote something on this
subject but haven´t put it up, not knowing how it would
be received. The response to this poem is encouraging. |
|
|
Weird words that make complete sense in a very optomistically dimensionally wonderful way. What i'm trying to say is i think its a masterpiece because its short, to the point, honest and who would ever admit that their not real in the sense of what this world counts as real.
Brilliant! |
|
|
| nice, very visual for such few words. |
 |
Comment by: - 2007-07-29 12:08
|
|
| Wow. the last line gives this piece an especially powerful impact. You say so much with only a few words. Nice work. I enjoyed reading. |
 |
Comment by: Suzanne - 2007-05-07 06:17
|
|
| "my gun's always in my hand" and "took a shot of whiskey"--you say so much in so few words. Could you consider taking out the first two appearances of the word "'cause"? as in "killed myself today/i'm not one to delay the inevitable"-- "I don't shoot from the hip/my gun's always in my hand" and also the word "I" in the fourth from last line? as in "took a shot of whiskey?" in the last instance, it fits with the title, perhaps even illuminates it. --Your title is punchy and direct, and your poem is, too, making the sadness even more poignant. Thanks for this. |
| 1 2 Next |
