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I am old enough to cry out in pain
But not old enough to get away
To a place where I have no name
Where the grass is green
And the sky is the color blue
Blissful shade just the right hue
I want to wipe away the stain your incestuous evil
You say 'It is my job to teach you' patty cake game.
To be rid of my terrified, mortifying shame.
And to heal all the jagged scars
You help put on my horrified heart
All of you and you damned soul
I hope one day you all rot in she`ohl'
Where fire sears your body and peels away
All that crap you call brains
You think you're a god
To rise above all others far less
Than what you call your rightful place
On earth where you cause me pain
I pray there is no other that has felt you
No innocent that you have wounded
On your hellish diseased but lethal quest
One day you will feel a happy but brief day
And there will be someone at the door
You will look into my eyes
And you will know
Your day has come to pay
Piece by piece
For sin by sin, I will have my revenge.
Julie Felsing march 27.05
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A lifetime of searching wasted
I gave to you my love
You betrayed me with lies
Your legs unable to close
Unable to tell the truth
I was left guessing at the patronage
Cutting you lose after pledging my heart
Only to be destroyed by your unsated desires
Finding you once again reading your pain
I find no remorse for the path that you have blazed
Leaving behind the challenges set before you
For another willing to believe the droll you spew
You reap the seeds that you have sown
The child that does not know you
Because of the disaster you left behind
Unwilling to stand up for the responsibility you bore
It was there for the taking
Handed to you on a platter
It was never enough for you
You wanted more then you were willing to give
The pain you feel is the cross that you bear
The life that you have is the penance that you pay
Seeking forgiveness is an abject desire
You reap what you have sown
As you can read your mind cannot comprehend
Who is the person that understands
Understands your pain, your longingness
A man who wishes that we had never met
A man that loves you to this day
Regardless of the pain you inflict.
I think the inner hostility reflected here is quite amazing. It might be a little more powerful though if you called to the reader's mind more images that are indicative of the dire situations you describe. People love writing that creates pictures in the mind.
This poem shows how one act can strip away a child's innocense and leave deep scars for the rest of their life. It also shows how revenge is needed for closure. Although revenge is never the answer to getting closure (although it may seem so), I like the way you make the reader feel the pain, sorrow, anguish, hate for the abuser and the deep seeded need for revenge. Good job. :)
