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JenniferWrites
Jennifer McCabe
United Kingdom, London

Words: 136
Access: Public
Comments: 11

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Momma Says

Momma says,
"Sit Up Straight"
Momma Says,
"Do Whats Told"
Momma Says,
"Read Those Books"
Momma Says,
"Be a Lady Not A Whore"

Late at night Momma says,
"I love you more than my own life."

Some years later Momma says,
"You are grown now,
out the house you go."

I went back today and Momma was quite,
Momma stared right through me.

I said, "Momma I stand up straight,
Momma I read those books"

"Momma why don't you remember me?" I cried.

Momma sat there and Nothing was ever said again.

Time doesn't seem to pass as it should. I stay trapped in the words Momma said, "Sit Up Straight", "Read Those Books"........

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Comments  
jyngrehl Comment by: jyngrehl - 2007-11-08 12:31
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Good poem, the heroin in this poem was strongly affected by the words of her mother, it seems towards the end she questioned the meaning of it all, as she seemed to have gotten nothing out of it... kind of like she was the good daughter and she confronts her mother and says, "I did everything you told me to do... now what?" and instead of some ultimate gift, she got nothing.
ThiaHarrington Comment by: ThiaHarrington - 2007-08-07 10:25
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There's a lot of strong emotion in this work. I like how how the mother and daughter changes roles in the poem as in life.
I think there's a typo though. Did you mean quiet instead of quite?
Comment by: - 2007-07-02 22:30
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I really liked this piece. It has a great feel to it. The only thing I noticed was that there might be a typo with quite. Other than that, it's really neat.
zepol Comment by: zepol - 2007-06-02 10:14
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this is a fine poem but I believe you can improve it. The language is good, the content is equally good but I think you can restructure to make it a better read.
carriedale Comment by: carriedale - 2007-05-16 14:36
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Powerful. You have a talent for this style of writing. Good luck in all you do and thanks for reviewing and commenting on my poem!
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