The art of emotional empowerment through eastern physical discipline has been something of a controversial approach in the modern field of mental health and family therapy. Many of my peers were initially shocked by my methods but as a good empirical practitioner, my results speak for themselves.
I first came across the idea whilst undertaking research on family styles of interaction whilst under the influence of alcohol. An earlier research programe that yielded nothing but notoriety for me. However, as it was the early stage of my career, I had nothing to loose.
My early work focused on the idea that dis inhibition brings forth a simple and honest quality to the therapeutic table. I learned this by observing people rowing in bars and pubs. Their alcohol fuelled rages at least seemed genuine. I compared this to the more damaging models of help available such as 'couple mediation' whereby the unsatisfactory voice of compromise is dominant.
I therefore encouraged clients, coming to my therapy sessions to drink very heavily and then we would video the ensuing hour. On at least three separate occasions, the therapy sessions became violent.
I found this a liberating experience to be truthful. Wives that had repressed their thoughts told me afterwards that hitting their 'fat ass' husbands on their head, was the first time they had ever been 'heard' by their partners. However, my employers at the time considered my approach unethical.
I reflected on what I had learned. It seemed as if the expression of physical violence had a profound impact on the clients. I hit a brain wave. If I could teach a mixture of martial arts (I focused on Kung-Fu, Ju-Jitsu and Judo) to my clients with an underlying therapeutic philosophy, I could make a huge leap in my field.
My intital paper 'empowering families by consensual violence' was published in a professional journal to little acclaim. In the paper I detailed how I attended a clients home in my Kung-fu suit and proceeded to beat the father of an ten year old perfectionist girl who was showing early signs of anorexia. I broke two fingers of the fathers left hand and explained to the girl, if she did not start eating I would return and humiliate her father again in front of her.
The week later, my second therapy session with the father resulted in a fractured collar bone and the loss of two teeth. A few days later the mother of the girl phoned to say that the girl had started to eat again and although was now having enuresis was nonetheless better with her primary neurosis.
A number of following publications soon meant that all though my work was undeniably controversial it was effective. It was also cheaper to administer than conventional medication or long term therapy.
A stoical philosophy was a key component. As was an iron fist.
The first time I was on the 'Ellen DeGeneres' show I demonstrated a 'one inch punch' that rendered the host unconscious but won me further acclaim.
Of course there were detractors, those feminist writers who found my methods dis empowering and reinforcing the male hegemony. But I had not a single claim against me from any former patients.
It was partly through the pain of seeing a love one assaulted that united families. It was also a time of great reflection for husbands and wives. Men wrote to me explaining how they had 'let go of their family responsiblilites' Women wrote to me telling me that 'the man they fell in love with was back in their lives' Children sent me thank you cards, also cute crayon scrawled letters begging me not to go back. In some way, I was the father christmas of the therapeutic world. Parents would tell their awkwardly behaved children to 'stop misbehaving' or 'Dr Johnson' would come pay a visit.
Whilst out promoting my book 'The pain of fathers ( The liberation of families), a prominent right wing politician was keen to show his support. On a pay per view event I fractured his left fibula in order to help his son come off the potentially embarrassing dope habit.
I was enjoying my new celebrity status with abandon. My books were published in fourteen languages (I was particularly proud of the rare Esperanto edition). I toured Europe, fractured collar bones in Germany, Shattered a mans eye socket in France (we all laughed about the cheese eating surrender monkey comment).
In Japan I was welcomed with a guard of honor after landing at Tokyo. It seemed my methods were becoming accepted.
It was now time for the world to wake up and see that we had spent too many years in the twentieth century wasting our time endlessly talking away. All those hypothesis, all those tears.
All we needed was for men to take responsibility again. My epitaph has already been commissioned 'Your pain is real, your words are meaningless'.
A radical note for a trained psychotherapist I know.
An important message for the world too.
If I had the chance to meet Freud or Jung. I would shatter their bones in the blink of an eye.

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